Wednesday, September 27, 2023

The Worst Witch

Maybe I spoke too soon on the whole cult movie thing.

Cause there are cult movies and then there are CULT movies, and I don't think it gets cultier than this. I'm sure I discovered this movie existed along with several other individuals through the magic of YouTube with Tim Curry's smash hit Anything Can Happen On Halloween and I decided sod it, let's see the movie. It's...humble. That's the best way I could describe it, it's a TV movie on a shoestring budget in the mid 80s, concerning a young but clumsy witch by the name of Mildred Hubble as she desperately tries to learn magic at a prodigious school. That's the basic gist and for a movie at a whopping 80 minutes, actually has a pretty decent pace and doesn't get super involved. It's really some Halloween fluff for young kids but has a bit of charm to it. I'm almost certain I would treasure this movie if I saw it around the age of 5, like I did with stuff like Halloweentown, and I know it is far far from everyone's taste but I actually quite liked it. I think the reason it worked so well for me is due to the cast, Fairuza Balk is great in this movie! She has so much heart and makes it all seem believable, she really did come into this with the best attitude and now I can say I've seen her in 2 witchy films. Diana Rigg is in the movie too, it's kinda wild how we got a quantum of star power into this, and likewise she plays it incredibly straight taking on a very genderbent Severus Snape role which I didn't quite know I needed in life but she's a treasure. It's actually kinda funny knowing Tim who plays The Grand Wizard is the best known part of the movie but he's maybe in it for a bit over 5 minutes, and it's even more hilarious cause every girl at this school, student or teacher, goes absolutely gaga for him! It was a different time, you could be like 9 years old and crush hardcore on a guy three times your age there was nothing weird about it back then. He is pretty majestic and God knows if I had the time and materials he would be my Halloween costume without question or doubt, and the song is magnificently bizzare in a way only the 80s could deliver. It's a extremely rudimentary film but if you like that sort of underground, buried, long forgotten sort of mood to productions where you can just get in the mindset and have fun with it, even if you see it just once you might like it a fair bit. The movie produced one of the most boisterously evil laughs of my life, and it was indeed unironically funny at times but for that alone it gets a gold sticky star from me. You can find the whole flippin' film on the YouTubes so if you need an hour to burn might as well see green screen witches flying about. 3 stars, 7.5/10, and tomorrow we get to a film that once again I could have sworn I reviewed years ago. Old age, it's not fun kids.

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