Thursday, March 9, 2023

Conan The Barbarian

I won't lie, I liked it.

I have no clue what the consensus is on this movie, good or bad, I heard Conan The Destroyer pretty much sucks but this one I find is good! Out of all the movies this week I had the most background and foreknowledge on this movie, yet even then there was plenty I did not know or expect. A popular plot I'm sure, concerning a young boy who watches his village be burned and his parents murdered before being enslaved, and through the years becomes a mass of muscle with vengeance on the mind as he obtains freedom, meets companions, and eventually settles the score with the evil sorcerer who perpetrated it all. But what I greatly enjoy is the movie is a notch over 2 hours and it actually takes it's time liberally moving from plot point to plot point. It's not in a constant rush where it's a checklist of tasks to gain enough experience points to face the evil mage, it lets the plot and characters have their moments with the exploits of Conan having time to sink in. Despite the barbarian moniker he possesses Conan is a war master with several weapons, gifted with languages and writing, and while lavishing in the decadence of the barbarian lifestyle of PMS (Plunder, Murder, and Sex) there's more to him. Arnold is great casting and it is pretty hilaruously awesome to see him on this quest and wrecking fools, yet from all the stories I've read he was monumentally grateful for the role and wanted to do it as best as he could to which I say he did without fault. James Earl Jones is our villainous cult leader Thulsa Doom which may be the coolest bad guy name ever, and I'll admit this he's kinda scarier and far more intimidating than Vader, he just has this unearthly gaze and you know he's a threat from the start. The guy doesn't speak a word till past the hour mark but you can tell Thulsa Doom means business. Sandhal Bergman, what a badass she was in this movie playing Valeria, taking on an almost Amazon warrior vibe and at the same pace as Conan throughout and while the romance initially seemed quick as hell the chemistry and moments they share I buy completely! And we have Mako as our resident wizard, no complaints from me man, he's cool! Much more action in this one, keeping the blood packs flowing and decent choreography throughout so good work there. Let me tell you something though man, I'm not sure they liked making cuts in the editing room. For those heavyweights or just alcoholic folk out there, take a shot everytime there is a cross dissolve or cross fade as it's sometimes called. Good sweet lord, you're gonna need a liver transplant before we're through. I'm fairly certain the movie performed well and it seems like the crew making the movie formed a tight community, so a lot of the love and care show on film in some variety or another and I had a pretty dang good time watching it so yeah, full recommendation from me. I give it 4 stars, 8/10, ended on a high note and added some more experience to my geek level. I'll be casting 8th level magic in no time.

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