Mortal Kombat Annihilation

What a heavy load Einstein must have had. F***ing morons everywhere!

I'm in a bad mood, like what an absolute waste of 90 minutes and 3 dollars, both of which I will never get back. I don't need to tell you this movie is a dumpster fire, anyone with a brainstem can witness that and testify to it. That was the one thing I did not like in the first Mortal Kombat was they sequel baited it at the end, and one of the only few good things I can say about this movie is that it picks up right where the last movie ended. Now I pose this question because my knowledge of Mortal Kombat is basic, harboring on adept, is Shao Khan the emperor of Outworld? Cause that's who Raiden said turned up, and I'm not sure. But anyway so he pops up bringing with him a cabal of nearly every villain up until Mortal Kombat 3, leading Liu, Katana, Sonya, and a healthy dose of new characters to stop him. I will now disclose the 3 things I liked about this movie, we actually get a Scorpion vs. Sub-Zero fight which was missing in the last which was kind of a bummer but I didn't mind much, and the fight goes for a decent length here and easily is the best fight in the entire movie. The soundtrack isn't bad with good tracks, with of course Techno Syndrome still the main theme. And Sandra Hess as Sonya Blade, I'm not joking she actually did really really good in this movie, and I have zero issue with Bridgette in the first film but her performance was 99% pouty and pissed off, but Sandra is the best actor in the film for my money, giving a lot of humor and warmth for lack of a better word, she's awesome. Everything else, what. Like man when even my technologically inept ass could probably make a better fan made Mortal Kombat movie in terms of special effects and costumes, I really have no words. I have seen bad CG, many a time in fact, this might be the worst. I mean wow. Everything is so slap dash in this f***ing movie, literally every aspect, I'm almost positive there was a blood sacrifice to Azazel for this movie to even hit theaters. Yes, this was theatrically released. Not direct to VHS which is how I saw it when I rented it from Blockbuster when I was probably 12, and I don't remember liking it even back then. I like the scene with Jade, though I'm positive that was for more specific reasons...in fact every guy in this movie hits on Jade. You need to get laid filmmakers. I just...I'm so done with this movie. I was done with it 5 minutes in, if you honestly sit through this longer than 5 or 6 minutes and you don't have to review it like me, superhuman endurance man, like proper incredible feats of patience and acceptance. Death is only a temporary moment of displeasure for true peace. Just watch Cinemassacre's Rental Review, I'm done, I'm away. What did I give the animated movie? Like a 2 or 3/10? Shit. 0.5 star, 1/10, never again. Let's hope the new animated movie is good so we can get off the bumpy road of quality.

Mortal Kombat

Shit that still held up.

For a movie I haven't seen in about 15 years, I still liked it! And from my limited knowledge on Mortal Kombat it did pretty good, which is strange because Mortal Kombat in some form or another has been a part of my childhood. I played Mortal Kombat 2 lots on the Super Nintendo, played the arcade cabinets, and watched the movie despite me being roughly 10 years old. Hell I even remember how I saw this movie for the first time, I got my Nan to buy the VHS at a Sam's Club of all places and I think she knew about the game cause she asked what the rating was but I got it and I quite liked. But now I have a lot more appreciation for it, it genuinely truthfully is a pretty decent movie! It takes the basic plot, Liu Kang, Johnny Cage, and Sonya Blade through various means are brought to the tournament of Mortal Kombat spearheaded by Shang Tsung and must fight for the sake of the world. Fairly accurate to the games. The first thing I gotta say is the production of this movie is excellent, even though the CGI is not quite good it's used when needed. The sets are outstandingly crafted, the cast does pretty good with lots of love going to Robin Shou and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa being the highlights of the cast, this soundtrack man, ho my gawd is the bomb dot com, no horeshit Jack. Just the amount of practical effects used must truly be applauded cause you would think oh it's CGI bullshit, it's so dense every single image has so much going on, they use it for anything and everything but that is far from true. This has honest to God effort in sets, choreography, acting, they wanted to do it as best as they could. Ooh but it doesn't have the blood and gore, oh it doesn't have an R rating, jabber jabber jabber, accept it for what it is. The filmmakers knew damn well the demographic was teens so they made a movie for teens to be able to go see, and shock twist everybody it made over $120 million dollars with an $18 million dollar budget so it did great in theaters and no doubt became a mainstay for video rental stores. And trust in me when I say, you get your money's worth of fights, in Street Fighter there was hardly any but here my God, after 40 minutes in it's practically non-stop fighting, it gives some preamble and explanation to this world then is all out martial arts. I have to praise the actors cause they just flat out did it all, they were trained for extensive fighting and they do pay it off. Now obviously some are more seasoned fighters than others but that doesn't take away from the effort of these actors. I mean I couldn't do 1/10th of the moves they pull, it's mighty good stuff! I was just so pleasantly surprised with the quality, and urge people to watch it again if you haven't already. 3 stars, 7/10! I wish...God how I wish I could say with all of my might the next one is just as good. I'm getting depressed just thinking about it. Tomorrow, I will face annihilation.

License To Kill

Ooh this is a tough call.

I honestly kind of like Licence To Kill just a tiny bit more than The Living Daylights, and I really enjoy that movie! I have no issue saying this is one of the best Bond stories, it's like For Your Eyes Only but incredibly commited and even better. We meet up with Bond on Felix's wedding day after they arrested a drug lord but he escapes and comes after Felix and his wife, leading Bond on a full fledged revenge mission as a rogue agent from MI6. Oh my God. I am so onboard with this story, you don't need to do a thing. I am there and I am loving it. It's a shame Dalton never got one more crack as 007 because he is really really good in this movie, and I know some say his intense attitude was occasionally off in the last movie which is somewhat true, but here I totally buy it. He friggin' wants this guy dead and will do anything to avenge his longtime friend. It kind of cut me a little seeing Bond show such love and kindness to Felix and his wife Della just to have this horrible thing happen to them, and the fact they brought up Tracy made me get misty eyed a little. He just loses friend after friend, ally after ally, and it really makes you get behind Bond's actions all the way through. I think this is a great story and one that was worth telling! The performances really sold me on this story, as I said Dalton is damn good in this movie and I feel people focus too much on the violence to really appreciate his performance. Robert Davi is such a good villain, he does downright gruesome things yet still has an air of charm and likability at times and his death is perfection honestly. Carey Lowell is a very good Bond girl in my eyes, kind of a more action more than words type of character though she certainly doesn't mind calling bullshit when she sees it, she's one of the finer Bond girls of the series. There's a handful of people you may kind of recognize in the story, we have two Mortal Kombat actors in this movie specifically Katana and Shang Tsung which is kind of cool to see, Benecio del Toro is the main henchman and it's really neat to see him in one of his earliest roles, but strangest of all Wayne Newton the famous singer plays a minor part in this movie and I swear to God I couldn't believe it was him even with my own two eyes. The action is pretty great at times, in particular the big rig truck chase at the end I mean damn guys, good show! So well done, and people throw a fit over, "Oh this movie's too dark and violent, I can't take my 7 year old to see this James Bond movie!" yes because clearly the James Bond series was created for pre-teen audiences. I was watching Goldeneye when I was 4 years old, and yes my parents and even grandparents were slightly concerned about that but they let me watch it anyway because I loved the movies for everything they did and not just certain, uh...elements. My point is, the violence should not take away from your experience unless you are really squeamish around blood. It's telling a very realistic and very serious movie, and I applaud the producers for taking that chance and doing something daring with a very formulaic movie series at this point. You need to shake it up occasionally! There was no harm done by this movie, but the production problems made this the last Bond film for 6 years and good God did they make that comeback worth the wait! Next time, this is where the fun begins. 4 stars from me, with a sterling 8/10!