Trouble With The Curve

It's been awhile since I last saw this so I figured it would be good to revisit it.

So 4 years after the supposed final acting role of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, he was brought back into the fray by one of his movie making pals and convinced him to do this movie and I'm very happy he did. I actually quite like the story to this movie, it takes a dash of sports movie predictability, adds some good and even really shocking family drama in, and just has Clint Eastwood being a crotchety bastard throughout as he plays a sports scout for the Braves named Gus who reconnects with his daughter and comes to terms with his failing sight while scoping a promising new draft pick. The first thing I gotta say is, holy balls this cast is something else. Grumpy Clint Eastwood, smartass yet awesome Amy Adams, pretty boy Justin Timberlake, cool John Goodman, and a surprising heel turn for Matthew Lillard which is really great to watch tell you the truth. You really have this A-grade cast and they all pull it off, even Justin Timberlake who in the pantheon of music stars turned actors does fine work. The direction is basic but good, but I actually expected that a bit since this was the first time Robert Lorenz was in the director's chair after being assistant director on many of Clint's films. I very much enjoyed the dynamic between Amy and Clint, they got good chemistry and the baggage the characters have while some of it is really out of left field, and even striked me sort of unnecessary, didn't take away from the rough impact it leaves on your mind once you learn of it. Again, not much of a sport's person and will never be but from the sports films I have covered in the past there's more to it than just the game cause that is what draws me in. It's not about Rocky Balboa boxing, it's about the character of Rocky. It's not about baseball in The Sandlot, it's the fun stories of these kids during the summer. It's not about Goldeen winning the gold at the Olympics, it's...well everything about that movie. It's probably gonna be years before you see me get to something like The Blind Side, Friday Night Lights, Major League, The Mighty Ducks, etc. mostly because I don't give a rat's ass. I gotta read like 6 Dune books before October people! But anyway, good film, solid 3 stars, 7/10, see you next time when I eat my own words.

Space Jam

Yes the smash hit, definitive of it's genre, nostalgic classic for many, one of the most loved 90s films of all time. Does it hold up?

Ehhhh, kinda. Now would I say Space Jam sucks or is garbage? No, I had a decent time with it. Do I think it's all that and a bag of potato chips? Nope. It's an odd mix for a movie concept and is probably no surprise it was birthed from a commercial campaign with Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes, one that really stuck if they made a movie out of it. It's not an airtight plot but I don't expect such things from 90s kids movies, so we start off pretty humbly enough with young Michael shooting hoops as a kid, kinda looses a bit of that once he starts rattling off every achievement he will make as he grows up, but then we head into the extremely 90s and honestly well put together intro montaging Michael's life and career before entering the movie proper. So Michael gets recruited by the all together looney cavalcade of characters to fend off an alien menace hell bent on enslaving our childhood icons. Well of course. I mean honest to God how would you write the story where Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan meet up? Cause I'm drawing a blank. So plot is decent if wacky, how are the other elements? Michael looks bored out of his skull and is so not there performance wise, but screw it he probably got roped in (just like the movie, ha ha ha) and didn't choose to be in this movie. The animation for the Looney Tunes is quite good but I will freely admit they didn't make me laugh much, I can very easily see where Joe Dante was coming from now. They're just kinda there, the voice acting is good save for Daffy, sorry Dee I still love you man, they have moments to be zany but eh. And yeah let's talk about newcomer Lola Bunny. You want to talk about some objectifying shit man? What an endlessly fascinating and fun character she is, except for the fact she's not and is purely there for visual reasons. Shame on you internet, you filthy bastards. She is just not my Lola, unlike her character from The Looney Tunes Show where she is flippin' awesome. Honest truth here, Wayne Knight and Bill Murray are the absolute best things in this movie, and the funniest. Wayne isn't some overly geeky dude, he's just trying to do his job and help out Mike and he made me laugh quite a bit. And Bill, sweet beloved Bill you were amazing. It was great to see him if only just to play golf, aspire to be in the NBA, and help out in the final round. And don't worry about that basketball career man, you got one spectacular movie coming up in the future. Am I forgetting anything? Oh right, take a shot every single time there is a close up and take a double shot every time a character's face takes up the entire frick fraking screen. You will be drunk off your ass. The soundtrack is really good though, I gotta admit I had a great time hearing the music all the way through and it is worth buying the soundtrack. On a good old CD. We about to raise the roof! And I have officially reached middle age, how do you do fellow kids? This joke is over. 2.5 stars, 6.5/10, catch you Saturday if you wanna jam.

Goldengirl

Okay I could have sworn I did this movie at some point.

I would have bet money I already reviewed the film debut of Susan Anton as Olympic trainee Goldine (and no her trainer is not named Misty) for the 1980 Olympics, as a reporter Jack Dryden tries to figure out what makes her the absolute cream of the sports crop. Seamless transition over with, let's talk about the movie. Now I will fully admit this movie came to my attention because of the Cinema Snob in one of his best reviews I'd say, so the movie was on my radar quite a bit before I took on this near 6 year odyssey. I even bought the film, which you can only get on VHS or Laserdisk, the first or second year I was in college when I was already reviewing movies so you can see why I thought I did it already. And just like the Snob I friggin' love Goldengirl. Susan Anton though never acting once in her life in a movie before is surprisingly grand, yeah it can be heavily dramaticized to the point of soap opera moments, but I'll be damned if I said that she and every other actor in this movie was not giving it their all. And for a film about a supposed natzi testing a growth serum on his adopted daughter to win acclaim after she wins the gold at the Olympics, that is saying a lot. You think I would trash the pure absurd quality of this script but the way the film progresses, and the acting quality seen within make it work. Plus any film with James Coburn is a-okay with me man, though the age gap is a bit much I genuinely do like the relationship between Jack and Goldine. The production quality is really nothing to write home about, it's standard and got theatrical as well as TV premieres, but points must go to the musical aspect with composer Bill Conti at work and even Susan can sing not half badly. The appeal of the film is incredibly niche, you have to be in a certain mood to watch it and you might not think much of it afterwards. But for me, I dig it, I totally can roll with this movie, appreciate it, and thoroughly enjoy it. Which is odd considering the fact that well, the film isn't exactly accurate in retrospect. The film was released in 1979 with the idea that Goldine is training for the 1980 Olympics. In Russia. In the Cold War. In the only point in history the U.S. has boycotted the Olympics. Whoops. Will give this movie credit for having major balls, I remind you this was a movie shown on TV and we have, alluded to nazi experiments, lots of strong language with the exception of the F and C words, and uncensored nudity! You see bewbs for quite awhile in one scene! How...the shit did this roll? A theater, fine that's one thing, but I'm shocked they got away with that much for television. They have a better chance showing it now on cable and not having to censor a thing. And that's sort of the kick in the ass about this movie, it's availability is scarce. I might as well have reviewed some obscure foreign film from the early 1930s, like you either find it on some website and good luck on that front or you buy the VHS like my nerdy ass and dust off the old CRT television for the complete immersive experience. Or you can just watch Brad's review and get a lot of laughs like I do, and even that review is easier to find than the movie itself. So why did I review it? Well it's gonna be a rough week in terms of reviews so I wanted to grab anything I could and I really wanted to give this movie some attention and love. I personally give it 4 stars, 7.5/10, it might not have won the gold but it stole my heart, and I would be a fool to not meet Susan Anton at some point. 

Early Man

Dang Aardman, I hate to say this about you but you made such a forgettable movie.

Early Man had my attention, I really love the Wallace & Gromit shorts Aardman Studios did so when I saw they got a new movie coming out, I was happy to see them again. But...they made it a sports movie. Ugh. Why?? If you want to make a boring, forgettable, and all around useless movie you make a sports movie. If you have seen one sports movie you have seen them all. You ready for this plot? It's gonna blow your mind. So our story begins in the Paleozoic Era, where a tribe of cavemen are living their avergae everyday life until they are invaded from bronze clad warlords that push them out of their home into the desolate wasteland. A young man named Dug is whisked away to their kingdom where he discovers an odd game they play, football (or to you Americans out there, soccer) and he makes a deal with the leader of the warlords saying if he wins the game of football against his best team, his tribe returns to their land and if they lose, do you even care at this point? So begins every underdog sports movie ever made. Now granted I did not see this coming. Everything from the poster, to the plot synopsis, to the friggin' trailer treated this movie as another oddball adventure from the people who brought you Wallace & Gromit, with the same british humor, well done claymation style, and just a sense of fun in this movie. But no. Boring ass sports movie with dashes of funny british humor. Characters are very simple, I do love the fact they got Tom Hiddleston to play the villain as this snobbish french guy, and Eddie Redmayne is still a likeable, kind, and good hearted protagonist but everyone else falls flat. I really cannot for the life of me recommend this movie. Hell, I feel like I need to go back and watch their other movies, because they have made some decent stuff guys I swear. Do not let this movie ruin your view of a very good production company. Early Man can be skipped and you will not miss a thing. I am never reviewing another sports movie until either Cool Runnings hits my list, or Creed II comes out. Sports movies are boring. They don't contribute anything, I'm not saying the lives of people who play sports are worthless, or the stories of famous sports affiliated people can't make compelling cinema, but how in the holy name of the sultan of swat can you make sports movies when there is nothing there to make it interesting? And don't start that whole, "Well you loved The Sandlot so shut your face nerd!" because The Sandlot is not a sports movie. That is probably why I like it so much because it is not a sports movie, it is a summer movie. Go back and watch it, then watch all the Rocky movies, and you have seen the best and only sports movies you have ever seen. Tune in tomorrow for another Aardman movie, and hopefully I like it better than this one. It has pirates in it! Wait...my track record with pirates sucks. Fu-