The Beekeeper

At last.

Very different than what I expected this movie to be, cause you read the synopsis and it seems very typical revenge story actionsploitation fluff piece and while it does tread in that direction it adds a lot more layers to it. Does it succeed? Let's find out. So our story follows retired badass Adam Clay who on finding his lovely employer's accounts being emptied by a scammer online takes it on himself to right the wrong no matter how high up the ladder this goes or how many people get in his way. What I have to applaud the movie for somewhat is the fact it tries to craft it's world quickly, it establishes the Beekeepers as a super hush hush black ops team independent of any government body, the affiliated baddies have ties to government officials, and we have two FBI agents on the tale of Adam who are learning this as we the audience learn it. Now it mostly works I will grant you and the fact I've never really seen an action movie take on a more conspiratorial governement agency angle before lends it a unique identity. However I think it tries juggling a few too many plot pieces and there are some inconsistencies and flat out dropped aspects, but I think it comes through on top. Jason is a more subtle actor I feel in the movies I've seen of his, he doesn't go all out in showing his emotions but you get moments, hints, dashes of underplayed remorse and hurt on his face at times here and I don't need to speak much on his physicality and action prowess because well we know he has a certain set of skills. Emmy Raver-Lampman while I like her performance throughout the only note I have to add is she's kind of a flippant wiseass (which I love) but her mom friggin' dies in this movie and I feel that's not how you would act after such an event, but I don't blame her for a microsecond. It's one of the few instances of tonal whiplash and inconsistencies found. I feel the trailer makes Jeremy Irons out as the big villain but that's far from the case, if anything he's trying to play peacekeeper and he gets some pretty funny lines I gotta admit, so it's great to see him. It took me for friggin' ever to remember where I saw Josh Hutcherson before, turns out I know him from Zathura and Bridge To Terabithia, and he's a right little shit in this film I mean he plays it really well but it's odd to see him as the true antagonistic force in play here. Major twist here the light of my life Jemma Redgrave is in this movie, yes Kate Stewart herself and she plays the President of all things and of course they address her as Madame President (cough Doctor Who reference cough), so I was having a blast seeing my world saving queen on the big screen. The action is spread out enough and fairly friggin' brutal at times and for a film that's about an hour and a half long, it's paced just right. It's standard action fare but done right so it's worth seeing if that's your cup of tea or you're just a Jason Statham fan. I give it 2.5 stars, 7.5/10, another new film incoming tomorrow so stay tuned.

Dungeons And Dragons (2000)

I'm surprised I heard way more bad things about this.

Ah 2000, when fantasy was still considered box office bombs, CG quality was here and there, and Dungeons And Dragons was still underground. Apparently the director got the rights from TSR to make a Dungeons & Dragons movie but it took a decade to garner the necessary funds with mixed success. Considering this is based on a role playing game where anything can happen and there isn't necessarily a plot aside from campaign stories that could probably be adapted with ease, it gives a tremendous freedom of storytelling because you can make up any story, characters, and progression you want. Now though they sprinkle references of the game into the movie, the film does feel very fantasy standard which is a bit of a tricky double edged sword. How do you make a fantasy movie feel authentically D&D? Cause the whole basis and inspiration for it was classic fantasy literature like Tolkien and fairy tales, so it easily falls into this trap. But I did not hate the movie! I actually wonder how it got such a negative reputation because in all truth and honesty it's not bad. It has some elaborate and big sets with some neat period costuming and props with a good amount of practical effects. The acting can be a bit broad but mostly commited and decent even with Jeremy Irons being the best part of the movie period just chewing the scenery and milking the lines. The story is a bit cookie cutter where two thieves get embroiled in a political power struggle between an empress and a court mage, and they eventually meet a young lady sorcerer named Marina, a dwarf named Elwood, an elf named Norda, and have to contend with baddies on their trail as they search for a mystic relic which can help end the conflict. Now one thing I simply cannot forgive and what kind of makes this a bad D&D in one respect is, our party comes across several situations whether it be a deadly maze for a treasure, sneaking into an enemy castle, or trekking into a dungeon to complete the quest but the part that irks me so severely is only our main character Ridley does really any of it. And that's just so not Dungeons & Dragons, even to a hardcore newcomer like me, the point is to get a bunch of characters in a scenario and see what they do in a story sense, but in a real world sense the game has a tremendous community feeling where you and a group of friends combine your skills and knowledge to overcome problems in fun and interesting ways. It's just so...dull watching a thief maneuver a trap maze or dungeon crawl when the rest of the party sits it out! Have the sorcerer use spells to progress through the maze while the elf does a bunch of evasion parkour shit to avoid traps, have the dwarf slay monsters while the thief makes it to the treasure room for the relic, this isn't complicated stuff! I suppose it's a decent fantasy movie but a sub par D&D movie, and maybe that's why people hate this movie so. It's not a complete mess, there's just off things about it. Marlon Wayans is a weird ass casting decision for this movie as the comic relief Snails, but he's enjoying himself and not completely grating. Friggin' Jeremy Irons and Bruce Payne are the villains and that is a sight that must be seen, cause the movie gets real interesting when they are on screen. The dragons and bits of scenery are not great in the CGI department, but it ain't no Mortal Kombat Annihilation either, and it's just a means of telling the story so it's fine. Our heroes you could entirely argue the only ones worth a damn are Ridley and Marina and you would be right! I'm very split on this movie, cause it ain't bad but nor is it very good. Sooooo....average. 2.5 stars, 5.5/10. It's been 20 years, so let's see if the movie idea has aged like wine or milk next time.

Red Sparrow

At least the movie didn't suck this time. It highly disturbed me but didn't piss me off.

The first thing I gotta tell you guys is, all the reviews I have read have panned this movie and is pure smut, just sexploitation splashed on the screen with a subpar story. This is a lie. These are probably the same people who deem Eyes Wide Shut as just artsy porn, there is more to it. Okay so story goes, a young woman who is the star of the Moscow ballet is injured and roped into this bizzare government facility that basically goes full Salo on these people, effectively transforming them into pure physical assets of the state to be used promisculously to gain information from selected targets through any means necessary. This is a hard movie to sit through. The almost brainwashing of individuals as Jennifer Lawrence's character puts it "whore school" is incredibly hard to watch. I am not a prude or against sex, but their are limts to that kind of thing! Like every sex scene save one is incredibly uncomfortable and made me want to jump into a scalding hot bath to get the filth off me, but it's there for a reason. This is the story of a girl who is broken literally and metaphorically and is trying to find a way out of such a horrid lifestyle. The story is not a byproduct of the sex, the sex takes a backseat to the story. After the horrid I guess "boot camp" the movie goes into double-triple crosses, backstabbing, and many tropes of the spy genre which does a engaging and great job. The film challenges people on the concepts of choice, sacrifice, and commitment to people or a cause and it does a good job. This is an engaging story that you want to know how it all ends. It's funny, I lost my damn mind at the sex scene in Atomic Blonde but at least that was consensual and looked like they were having a good time! Jesus Christ, Russia I have to say this, if such a thing still occurs in your country you gotta stop that immediately, you are better than this. Though the movie has elements of different movies like I said, Salo, Atomic Blonde which thusly leads to the James Bond series, how people compare the use of sex like in Eyes Wide Shut (even though they are idiots), it still has it's own identity and is it's own movie. Can I recommend it to everybody? Oh hell no! Can I say it was a good movie that did a very good job telling a story with great but subdued performances, excellent subtext and allegory to concepts held dear to many people, and has an interesting but heavily disturbing plot? Oh hell yeah! But you need to prepare yourself for the darker moments. It did not offend, but it certainly did disturb. And now I need to bleach my brain....

In Retrospect: Batman V. Superman: Dawn Of Justice

In this particular retrospect I shall be reviewing the 3 hour cut of the movie, not the two and a half hour theatrical cut, to see if it is worth the extra 30 minutes. In the short term, yes it is. In the long term, let us begin. Needless to say I still love the movie, and the additional footage greatly enhances the original cut. In fact, the additional footage cleans up quite a few messes from the original cut so I am all for it. They show a hell of a lot more blood in this, which I actually enjoy because it just makes it much more realistic. So well done all around, the acting is still awesome, the fights are still great, we get a tiny bit more character arc, and I am just happy to own it. Do I recommend the 3 hour cut? Absolutely. I think you will enjoy it more than the original theatrical cut. So I say go out and buy the Ultimate Edition which is seriously a grand total of I think $4 extra than the regular movie. So until next week, where we review more DC movies leading up to Suicide Squad.