Venom The Last Dance

Well indeed it was the last.

It's funny with this series, from the beginning you could argue that it already lost half the fanbase due to the tone and quality of the film, and lost even more with Carnage, and I really hate to say it but the Last was indeed where they lost me. Now did I abjectly hate it start to finish? Not at all! There were a good few moments that made me laugh, I appreciated some badassery near the tail end, and was proud of the filmmakers not being chickenshit and actually ending it all. However! From the start I could tell this wasn't going to be an entirely good experience yet it's hard to really quantify that despite the multitude of factors that didn't click for me. But basically we pick up for like 2 minutes where Carnage left off with Eddie in the MCU before he inexplicably gets warped back to his universe as symbiote hunters start populating the world to hunt Venom with the duo being pushed to the severing point. So let's discuss some positives! I'll admit the movie did get me emotionally invested in the relationship between Eddie and Venom at points cause going in knowing that title you expect it to be a goodbye so a quiet moment or two actually worked nicely. The humor is still kinda hair brained but landed about 50% of the jokes for me so I can't hate it. Seeing a particular Symbiote at the finale wreck shit real good and watch her be a badass was rad man, I'm not that well informed on the comics so I don't know the character's name but she left an impact. And Mrs. Chen our fucking golden girl since day one, our queen that is the brightest center of the universe in a film that's farthest from, short scene but sweet and goofy, 10/10! Now for the negatives. May I direct you to the tactic colloquially known as a fucking bait and switch on the MCU, or at least I'm sure it is despite me still not catching up on Spiderman but even I know that stirred some waves at the end of Carnage and it goes precisely nowhere except for a Thanos joke. Zippidee-doo-dah! This might be the largest criticism levelled against the movie for me but my lord we get sidetracked on tangents with secondary characters, who yeah have a place in the story and come into play at the end but they spent waaaay too much time on them! This is a bit over 100 minutes without credits, they don't have time to be lolligagging but continue to do so anyway. I don't need airtight characters in a story arc that are justified in their existence, I just need decent characters here and there along the story. And to the actor's credits they don't phone this shit in, they're committed enough and don't have awful stories but it's just off. Further exemplified and even magnified by the editing, holy balls this editing. I'd almost say this is an editor's first project cause they cut so sloppily and rapidly including minute details that simply should not be there at all, and how the story progresses and the emotional crux of it is disassembled because of such choices. The potential in the script was there, but focused on in the wrong areas. I hate to go there but it's called Venom, we come to see Venom, and we don't focus the story on Venom. He's just part of a carousel of other characters that get I dare say equal parts screentime or it at least felt like it. Damn near everything should have been on the backs of Eddie and Venom, the driving force that keeps the plot moving, the emotional crucible at the thought of them being seperated forever, and the comedic relief whether too goofy or not is part of the tone for this series. The ending happens so fast it left me severely underwhelemed and asking, that's it? That's how we're doing this? No emotion, no catharsis, no interest but rather disbelief. Admittedly I didn't marathon the trilogy but now I want to for the In Retrospect of this, just to see if I can calculate where they just dropped the ball. Kelly you wrote the last two in this trilogy, you wrote Cruella, yeah you wrote Fifty Shades Of Grey too and I understand a paycheck is a paycheck but shit girl! I'm not mad I'm just wondering what's up? Was there interference, was it just a problematic shoot, did the movie you really wanted people to see just end up on the cutting room floor for one reason or another? I'm just kinda blown away by it all. The faults are plain as day but I still stress I didn't hate it, it's just middle of the road. 1.5 stars, 5/10, I can't fully recommend it but to not end on a drag I got a classic movie series for you next week that follows our tradition of black and white horror fare.

Mad Max Fury Road

Okay here we go.

I don't think I have heard this much good word of mouth and undiluted praise for an action movie quite possibly in my entire life. I've never heard even a mediocre thing let alone a bad thing about Fury Road. So how do I break this gently that I thought it was just okay? Granted I haven't seen the previous Mad Max movies so I'm most likely missing some shit, but I know plenty of people have sat down to watch this movie alone and come out fairly pleased. I know bits about it, the story is set in a nuked out post apocalyptic Australia, so I guess 95% of what Australia is actually like (just jokes Aussie's) following previous cop now road warrior Max as he tries to stay alive amidst gangs, scavengers, and fuel grifters. He very quickly gets swept up in the storyline of Furiosa, a hardened woman transporting several young girls to a lush green patch of the world for their safety. Dirt simple plot, very easy to understand and empathize with. No doubt made so for the unhinged action to take front and center stage, this is unashamedly a leave your brain at the door, popcorn, summer extravaganza, action flick through and through. It is astoundingly impressive how much they just did in camera with stunt crew probably as insane as some of the characters, using as little CG as they could get away with to which I strongly commend and applaud. It's metal as hell, off the wall, subtle as a nitroglycerine brick to the head. I assume the previous movies had aspects of this, obviously not that extreme but certainly there and the worldbuilding while brief isn't necessary to enjoy the movie. Though I do want to know way more about it! This isn't a severe mark against the movie when I say this, the cast does just fine but there isn't a great deal for them to sink their teeth into character wise. I truthfully feel they could cast complete unknowns in this part and little would change, but hey they got some big names who obviously were game to do it and it got butts in seats because of it so I will never fault the filmmakers for doing that. This is simultaneously an easy film to talk about and yet a difficult film to talk about for me, it is without question or doubt the phrase "What you see is what you get" and if you've seen clips or trailers and it looks like your kind of bag then rock on my friend, you'll have a blast. And indeed you can see a lot of craftsmanship, dedication, and ultimately passion put into this project. You know they wanted to make the bestest damn movie they possibly could here. I don't hate it by any semblance of a stretch, I can respect the production side, enjoy the movie side, and am quite looking forward to Furiosa, but I don't immensely love it. I like it. The cinematography is proper damn good, the action makes this 2 hour film pass in the blink of an eye, and it's a good bottled movie where you don't need to know anything before or after and just enjoy the cataclysmic ride this movie takes you on. I give it 3 stars, 7.5/10! New release on Friday and more to talk about soon.

In Retrospect: Venom Let There Be Carnage

Time again to look back.

I think I get it more now. Originally in my review I said they knew what they were going for and succeeded, and on second viewing I enjoyed it more than the first time. I respect it a lot too, it is this sort of batshit comic book movie that is fairly loose on logic and rightfully so when you have a story with shifting alien blobs and super sonic screams that would make Rob Halford jealous, it's there to entertain and I applaud it for that. I think we need more comic book movies like this, it has the same attitude as a 90s comic book movie it doesn't take itself seriously and is there to give you a good time. I'm happy we get this cast back, I'm happy we get to see a continuation of Eddie and Venom's life/romance/crimefighting, and God I'm gonna get so much shit for this. I'm gonna say it anyway. Tom Hardy is cast better as Eddie Brock than Bane, and I very much liked Bane in The Dark Knight Rises it was a very good performance, but he can have a wild time with this script and it's infectious how humorous he plays it. I gave some good grief over how they handled Anne and her standing with Eddie, but it didn't bug me much this time around and should make for an interesting dynamic if God willing there be a 3rd movie. Do it, I want you to do it. If you seriously think that I would not attend the day one premiere of a movie where Eddie and Venom beach bum about, watching spanish soap operas, and trying to keep a low profile as their odd couple antics increase, then you must be new. Hi, welcome, we love the odd stuff here, hope you stick around. I can see a ton of people really bash this movie when it comes to Woody Harrelson and Naomi Harris, not so much because of the actors but the characters themselves. Oh they completely gave no respect to Carnage and his story, and I have no comment on that because I can't name two symbiotes beyond our hero and villain in this, and I really need to watch more Atop The Fourth Wall to learn more Spidey and Venom information. I can't believe how foolish I was though, I was sitting there the whole time in the theater thinking, "Why is that woman so strikingly beautiful? Why do I think I've seen her before?" when clearly as bright as daylight, as frank as Frankenstein, that's Naomi Harris gracing my vision. I wish to apologize for that. Still though, best scene, maybe even my favorite scene in a comic book movie in the last 5 or so years, Venom taking the stage. I don't care, I love it. It is so damn weird and mostly superfluous to the plot, but I adore it and I'm so happy it exists. And I'm giving some long overdue praise to Peggy Lu, Mrs. Chen shine on you crazy diamond. We need to give her so much attention and love, she is brilliant, the movies would not be as good without her, I have spoken. And I know sequels are very difficult to do, because there is precedent. No one knew how the first Venom movie would go, least of all me, and it was a weird hot mess that I now love, so when you get a second movie you want it to be as good as the first if not better. And while I don't think that, my estimation still has went up from the first time watch of it. So the score is now 3 stars, 7.5/10, you can enjoy it and you can take it as seriously as it wants to be which isn't much at all. I had kind of a ehhhh it's okay, now I think it's a decent movie and I feel that is the trend for this week when tomorrow we unpack....a lot with an in retrospect of No Time To Die.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

Well Christ that was quick.

I swear this movie hit the big climactic fight 30 minutes after it started, but brownie points for not only keeping up the pace but giving another 90 minute comic book movie that's just there for fun and entertainment. Now I will say I didn't like it as much as the original but as evidence from the In Retrospect provides, it'll be well worth rewatching and re-evaluating. So we pick up some time after the first, Eddie and Venom are still living together as they encounter captured serial killer Cletus Kasady who obtains a unique symbiote of his own and goes on a rampage with Eddie having to intervene. Basic plot, not too much happens that furthers the incidents and characters from the first film, you think they might go for a reclaiming of a lost flame with Anne but it just kinda ends, if anything the subtext of romance pretty much becomes text with Eddie and Venom. And let me tell you something right now. You do not need to give me any comic book nonsense, no Carnage, no other villains, just give me a romance movie between Venom and Eddie. I will sit through every single one of them. Gladly. Their dynamic was the best part of the movie, and while the film is nothing spectacular to write home about I do feel it did exactly what it set out to do and did it well. The symbiote action was done I feel better than the first, it had way more comedy beats to it, and it sort of still fits that same style as the first movie. I give it 3 stars, 7/10, and tomorrow is gonna be a good day.

In Retrospect: Venom

Yeah, probably the longest period of time between initial viewing and an In Retrospect review.

Kiss my ass, this movie is good. Like when I saw it in theaters it was like a 6.5, maybe 7/10, now it's like 7.5 if not 8/10 for me now. I have gained all new love and appreciation for this movie in nearly every sense, and if anything watching it again has ignited the excitement and interest for Let There Be Carnage. I am so appreciative of the style and tone of this movie, it sort of fits that 90s/early 2000s vibe and fully commits to it which if nothing else gains my respect, it's really funny and has fun with the script. It's not a perfectly written, air tight plot, but I'll be damned if I said it didn't work in it's own little world. Tom Hardy is the man, the funny man, the sexy man, my man even, I think I said if there was a reason to watch this movie the first time around it was because of Tom Hardy, that has not changed. However, every single actor, every one of them commits to this movie and goes all in. There is not a dull or forgettable part in this with our main players, and even the brief side characters have nice moments. I love how wild the Symbiotes can do stuff, it's always shifting, molding, doing something, so it's entertaining the eyes even in the midst of a scene. I genuinely think the special effects are done well, yes it does delve into CGI monster mash fighting at the end, but even I had to commend the good use of practical effects scattered all throughout. I just loved seeing this movie again after all this time, and yeah I'm no hardcore Venom fan. I like the guy, read up on him a tiny bit, heard about the comic stories, was literally the reason I saw Spider-Man 3 in theaters, so I can't cast hellfire and brimstone from the skies with indignant nerd rage because of the audacity of unfaithful adaptation, so yeah bring it Brittnay I really like Venom and I'm looking forward to the sequel tomorrow. 4 stars, 8/10, bite the heads off of those who disagree with you.

Venom

I think I knew what they were going for.

I think the most positive word I heard about this movie, though limited that was, is that it's so bad it's good. Now I must say my hopes for this movie wasn't that high, I expected a fun romp with Venom and I got a fun romp with Venom. Kinda was hoping for more horror vibe, but the movie keeps a good upbeat pace and is relatively fun despite there being not one, not two, but three straight up Return Of The Living Dead head chomps! I didn't actually know if this movie was rated R or not, it's PG-13 but I say they should make an R version. I mean shit, if that asshat Deadpool can get a PG-13 cut for his second movie (a rant that has it's day coming believe me) then I don't see why Venom can't have some blood and gore in it. Tom Hardy plays Eddie Brock quite good, and I found the whole split personality thing done like, really good in this movie which leads me to Venom himself. I highly stress I have not read any Venom comics, if you've been with me long enough you've probably come to the conclusion that Marvel just isn't my thing, but I really love Venom. I love his look, I've heard of his stories and they sound great, his voice is perfect in this movie, they got the Symbiote down correctly, the effects are done well and show creativeness, and I was really hyped to see Venom in Spiderman 3. Like....that's the reason I bought my ticket, though the Sam Raimi Spiderman movies are okay in my opinion. And I just gotta say, I will watch this Venom movie seven times compared to even one sitting of f***ing Topher Grace. So even if all else fails and you walk out of that theater disappointed, just remember that it wasn't Topher Grace and they actually did something with the character. I won't diverge into plot, if you've seen the trailer you essentially know the movie, there's just a lot more comedy in it than you would think. Hopefully they get that R rating when it hits video, cause I would love to see what they do. Recommend it for a slow weekend or if you're a hardcore Marvel fan. Next week though, I get to show my love for a certain underrated human monster.

Dunkirk

Jesus, I can't even imagine seeing this in theaters. The trailer in the theater made my heart race, I think the film would have killed me!

But regardless of better sound systems, Dunkirk is a really good movie. I have to admit I am not one for war films, well I'm just not one for war in general but with this film it did excellent work. Story wise, it's basically a fight for survival. Over 400,000 soldiers are trapped on the beaches of Dunkirk, surrounded by the enemy, looking for anyway out possible. Doesn't sound like much but I would be a lying bastard if I said I wasn't a nervous wreck sitting all the way through it. The friggin' music keeps you on edge from the beginning to the very end! And it is pretty damn good music! Cinematography is excellent, you do feel like you are in a warzone multiple times and the story is harrowing so it keeps you interested until the end. I think my favorite part is there is no real main character, sure we follow a soldier through most of it, and yet he's kind of in the background at the same time. There's no hero or true main character cause in war, there are no heroes or focal points. When survival comes to push or shove, people either work together or fight, and while thankfully it's mostly cooperation there is a few scuffs in between. It's just people trying to survive an impossible scenario, and the film must be commended on that. Bottom line, it's a damn fine war movie that I think would work even better if you watch Darkest Hour, and trust me we will get to that before the week is done. But tomorrow, we look at a film that has been waiting for me for a long time.

The Dark Knight Rises

It's time for Knightfall.

The end is here. All those years, all his enemies, and the Bat was broken. But he came back, 8 years of nothing before Bane comes to Gotham and took the city, making it a no man's land. And the Dark Knight came out of retirement to take control of his city. Was it worthwhile? Was it a brilliant end to an iconic trilogy? Well here's the thing, answers don't give you a sense of satisfaction, sometimes you have to brace yourself for disappointment. I mean, think about it! You've seen this series since it began, the birth of the Batman, the crazy and chaotic Joker pushing him to his limits, and then bang! The ultimate fight for Gotham ensues and ends. Would you be happy? Does it make sense? How come the true villain sucked ass? Well, let's start at the beginning. 8 years since the Batman has been seen, and not all is well. True, Gotham seems to be in a time of peace but Bane has different plans, severing all ties to the outside world and keeping Gotham in his pocket thanks to a four megaton nuclear bomb. He broke the bat, threw him in a pit, and is about to do what Ra's Al Ghul was always planning: destroy Gotham. And hell, that's just the brief basic synopsis. Good gravy is there a lot going on in this movie! What with Bane controlling the city, Bats coming out of retirement, Catwoman doing her own thing, and poor Jimbo scrambling to restore order, it's a miracle you remember what happened in the first movie! But specifics are key here, and really there isn't much to talk about casting and production wise, except for Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle. Great job guys! I thought she was awesome! Now I think the problem many people did not get was this is NOT a Batman story. At all. It's a Bruce Wayne story. It deals with him coming out of retirement, defending a city that hates and fears him, and just him trying to do one last good deed in his lifetime. This is important to know if you choose to see it again. Now onto the villains! Bane is damn near pitch perfect, I mean Tom Hardy friggin' nailed it. This is the comic book Bane, and for those of you who read the comics know what I am talking about, he's brilliant, super genius intellect almost, incredible strength, military backing in some cases, this guy is a true force to be reckoned with. He broke Batman's back, no one has ever hurt him like that before. This shows a capable villain who is a great character in and of himself. But then they done screwed it up! I have no qualms spoiling this, because it's absurdly obvious to the comic book fans, and means precisely nothing to those who want to just watch the movie. The whole mastermind behind all this is Talia Al Ghul, Ra's daughter. Thanks for taking away such excellent menace from Bane and just pissing me off! Seriously?? What the shit is she doing here??? There's no reason!! None! Whatsoever! The character is meaningless, she doesn't even reveal her name until about 15 minutes before the end! Are you fraking kidding me?! This movie is 2 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES LONG!!! God I hate her in this movie, now you might be saying "But Dude that's the point! You're not supposed to like her! She's the bad guy!" but that is not the point! You built up an incredible villain, faithful to the comics, with a damn fine performance, and just chucked it all in to the fraking trash! I knew her whole schtick once she babbled on about having balance or order or some bullshit in the world for the 8 millionth godforsaken time! Also, worst death ever! Oh yeah, she dies. Not in a even slightly satisfactory way! It is literally, the worst on screen death I have ever seen! I mean for Christ's sake, that was the best take you could get?? It's horrible! Oh my God! How do you do this man? Besides that....disgustingly horrible aspect, the rest of the movie is fine. When I first saw it I found it very underwhelming because I didn't want it to end, but you know, it's been 5 years, and the movie has grown on me. I like the scale of the movie, the tone of the movie, (most) of the characters in the movie, the action is very good, the drama hits hard and by the way, shame on you Bruce! You made Alfred cry! That ain't right man! It's a perfectly fine ending to The Dark Knight Trilogy, they just done fraked it up in terms of villains. In fact, just watch the How It Should Have Ended video of this movie, if you don't feel like sitting down for almost 3 HOURS! There are movies that warrant that run time, this one....not so much. I can totally get why someone would not want to sit through a movie like this for that long. But honestly when I sat down, it took about 20 minutes for me to get interested and then the rest of the movie pretty much flew right by. But then again, I am used to such run times. 3 hours is a powerful repellent to the uninitiated, but we are initiated aren't we? The ending pissed people off too, I frankly didn't mind. I mean damn, it's all gone now, we got Batfflec and all these new kickass superhero movies coming out, so get over it! Oh, and The Joker totally called it. He was right about everything. That's why we love you Heath! But anyway, I'm done. New reviews next month, you know the drill, thank you so much for reading and I need some ice cream cake now. Happy Birthday to me, The Dude reminding you that the movie reviews will never die.