Venom The Last Dance

Well indeed it was the last.

It's funny with this series, from the beginning you could argue that it already lost half the fanbase due to the tone and quality of the film, and lost even more with Carnage, and I really hate to say it but the Last was indeed where they lost me. Now did I abjectly hate it start to finish? Not at all! There were a good few moments that made me laugh, I appreciated some badassery near the tail end, and was proud of the filmmakers not being chickenshit and actually ending it all. However! From the start I could tell this wasn't going to be an entirely good experience yet it's hard to really quantify that despite the multitude of factors that didn't click for me. But basically we pick up for like 2 minutes where Carnage left off with Eddie in the MCU before he inexplicably gets warped back to his universe as symbiote hunters start populating the world to hunt Venom with the duo being pushed to the severing point. So let's discuss some positives! I'll admit the movie did get me emotionally invested in the relationship between Eddie and Venom at points cause going in knowing that title you expect it to be a goodbye so a quiet moment or two actually worked nicely. The humor is still kinda hair brained but landed about 50% of the jokes for me so I can't hate it. Seeing a particular Symbiote at the finale wreck shit real good and watch her be a badass was rad man, I'm not that well informed on the comics so I don't know the character's name but she left an impact. And Mrs. Chen our fucking golden girl since day one, our queen that is the brightest center of the universe in a film that's farthest from, short scene but sweet and goofy, 10/10! Now for the negatives. May I direct you to the tactic colloquially known as a fucking bait and switch on the MCU, or at least I'm sure it is despite me still not catching up on Spiderman but even I know that stirred some waves at the end of Carnage and it goes precisely nowhere except for a Thanos joke. Zippidee-doo-dah! This might be the largest criticism levelled against the movie for me but my lord we get sidetracked on tangents with secondary characters, who yeah have a place in the story and come into play at the end but they spent waaaay too much time on them! This is a bit over 100 minutes without credits, they don't have time to be lolligagging but continue to do so anyway. I don't need airtight characters in a story arc that are justified in their existence, I just need decent characters here and there along the story. And to the actor's credits they don't phone this shit in, they're committed enough and don't have awful stories but it's just off. Further exemplified and even magnified by the editing, holy balls this editing. I'd almost say this is an editor's first project cause they cut so sloppily and rapidly including minute details that simply should not be there at all, and how the story progresses and the emotional crux of it is disassembled because of such choices. The potential in the script was there, but focused on in the wrong areas. I hate to go there but it's called Venom, we come to see Venom, and we don't focus the story on Venom. He's just part of a carousel of other characters that get I dare say equal parts screentime or it at least felt like it. Damn near everything should have been on the backs of Eddie and Venom, the driving force that keeps the plot moving, the emotional crucible at the thought of them being seperated forever, and the comedic relief whether too goofy or not is part of the tone for this series. The ending happens so fast it left me severely underwhelemed and asking, that's it? That's how we're doing this? No emotion, no catharsis, no interest but rather disbelief. Admittedly I didn't marathon the trilogy but now I want to for the In Retrospect of this, just to see if I can calculate where they just dropped the ball. Kelly you wrote the last two in this trilogy, you wrote Cruella, yeah you wrote Fifty Shades Of Grey too and I understand a paycheck is a paycheck but shit girl! I'm not mad I'm just wondering what's up? Was there interference, was it just a problematic shoot, did the movie you really wanted people to see just end up on the cutting room floor for one reason or another? I'm just kinda blown away by it all. The faults are plain as day but I still stress I didn't hate it, it's just middle of the road. 1.5 stars, 5/10, I can't fully recommend it but to not end on a drag I got a classic movie series for you next week that follows our tradition of black and white horror fare.

In Retrospect: Venom

Yeah, probably the longest period of time between initial viewing and an In Retrospect review.

Kiss my ass, this movie is good. Like when I saw it in theaters it was like a 6.5, maybe 7/10, now it's like 7.5 if not 8/10 for me now. I have gained all new love and appreciation for this movie in nearly every sense, and if anything watching it again has ignited the excitement and interest for Let There Be Carnage. I am so appreciative of the style and tone of this movie, it sort of fits that 90s/early 2000s vibe and fully commits to it which if nothing else gains my respect, it's really funny and has fun with the script. It's not a perfectly written, air tight plot, but I'll be damned if I said it didn't work in it's own little world. Tom Hardy is the man, the funny man, the sexy man, my man even, I think I said if there was a reason to watch this movie the first time around it was because of Tom Hardy, that has not changed. However, every single actor, every one of them commits to this movie and goes all in. There is not a dull or forgettable part in this with our main players, and even the brief side characters have nice moments. I love how wild the Symbiotes can do stuff, it's always shifting, molding, doing something, so it's entertaining the eyes even in the midst of a scene. I genuinely think the special effects are done well, yes it does delve into CGI monster mash fighting at the end, but even I had to commend the good use of practical effects scattered all throughout. I just loved seeing this movie again after all this time, and yeah I'm no hardcore Venom fan. I like the guy, read up on him a tiny bit, heard about the comic stories, was literally the reason I saw Spider-Man 3 in theaters, so I can't cast hellfire and brimstone from the skies with indignant nerd rage because of the audacity of unfaithful adaptation, so yeah bring it Brittnay I really like Venom and I'm looking forward to the sequel tomorrow. 4 stars, 8/10, bite the heads off of those who disagree with you.

Venom

I think I knew what they were going for.

I think the most positive word I heard about this movie, though limited that was, is that it's so bad it's good. Now I must say my hopes for this movie wasn't that high, I expected a fun romp with Venom and I got a fun romp with Venom. Kinda was hoping for more horror vibe, but the movie keeps a good upbeat pace and is relatively fun despite there being not one, not two, but three straight up Return Of The Living Dead head chomps! I didn't actually know if this movie was rated R or not, it's PG-13 but I say they should make an R version. I mean shit, if that asshat Deadpool can get a PG-13 cut for his second movie (a rant that has it's day coming believe me) then I don't see why Venom can't have some blood and gore in it. Tom Hardy plays Eddie Brock quite good, and I found the whole split personality thing done like, really good in this movie which leads me to Venom himself. I highly stress I have not read any Venom comics, if you've been with me long enough you've probably come to the conclusion that Marvel just isn't my thing, but I really love Venom. I love his look, I've heard of his stories and they sound great, his voice is perfect in this movie, they got the Symbiote down correctly, the effects are done well and show creativeness, and I was really hyped to see Venom in Spiderman 3. Like....that's the reason I bought my ticket, though the Sam Raimi Spiderman movies are okay in my opinion. And I just gotta say, I will watch this Venom movie seven times compared to even one sitting of f***ing Topher Grace. So even if all else fails and you walk out of that theater disappointed, just remember that it wasn't Topher Grace and they actually did something with the character. I won't diverge into plot, if you've seen the trailer you essentially know the movie, there's just a lot more comedy in it than you would think. Hopefully they get that R rating when it hits video, cause I would love to see what they do. Recommend it for a slow weekend or if you're a hardcore Marvel fan. Next week though, I get to show my love for a certain underrated human monster.