Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Alien 3

Or Alien cubed for those mathematically inclined.




There's only so many ways I can just say, what the hell people?! Here we go again, a movie I have not heard a scrap of good things about and guess what I'm about to say? It was quite good! I just can't rely on anyone's opinion but mine. Almost every criticism I've heard I can rebuke even, maybe it was just a good day but I can applaud the movie for the direction it wanted to take. So we pick up pretty soon after Aliens ends and admittedly this is one of the few marks against the plot, but somehow an egg was on the ship as Ripley, Hicks, Newt, and Bishop escaped on which hatched and through some loss of blood that isn't rightly explained causes the ship to malfunction and the cryopods get jettisoned onto an ore mining prison world known as Fury 161, killing all members aboard except Ripley. Now can I understand why people were upset over that? Yes. Can I also understand why the movie went in the direction it did? Yes. So Ripley is now trapped on a prison world with a Xenomorph about, no weapons of any kind, and the Weyland company is inbound to claim it, so let's go do this. You'd be surprised though how little you truly see the alien until the climax of the movie, the majority of the film is Ripley getting acquainted with her surroundings, cooperating with inmates, it's way more a prison drama if anything. I like that! We get good conversations, pretty damn good actors, and the movie moves at a quick enough pace. Sigourney is still just as good as ever and stood staunchly by the director through the tumultous production, it's friggin' awesome to see a young Charles Dance in a fairly prominent role and rightfully is a highlight, to see Paul McGann in anything is a treat for a whovian like myself even if his part is more lessened in the theatrical cut, and we even get Lance Henriksen back for a bit and we love that guy! Like I'm just floundering so hard to comprehend why people think it's a bad movie, that's it's bleak and nihilistic, even the so called claims of religion are next door to zilch. Like...did I just watch the wrong fucking movie?? I know there's a producer's cut out there that's a bit different but my confusion is unending here. I mean yes losing our crew from Aliens just sucks, that there is no light at the end of the tunnel for them, but I felt they wanted to cap this series off entirely. I wish it was true but no dice there as we'll talk about tomorrow. Yes it's a pretty dystopian shithole world that's potrayed but it's a prison planet, cry about it I don't know what to tell you. I'll at least give credit for some solid sets and corridors plus some cool exterior shots. The nihilistic one is what fucking slays me, pretty soon the inmates are aware of the creature and that it's more likely than not a no-win scenario for them but instead of sitting on their asses waiting to get head fucked by a Xenomorph they start forming plans and taking action. There is no severe cloud of dread or depression here, there's moments yes but you'd think this would either be the movie that bores you to sleep or tempts you to eat cyanide from the word of mouth since 1992. And the religion thing, frankly I think people need to realize a cigar is just a cigar. Albeit there are inmates who stick to a code of religion, there's one shot of exterior wreckage that looks like a cross, and they initially describe the alien as a "dragon" and "the beast" two monikers for Satan (and that's if you are well read on such things), I mean it's not like Ripley is touted as the Lisan al-Gaib or some shit. I am so close to losing it here, it has been a hot ass minute since I have so feverishly disagreed with just about every person under the sun on a movie, and I just. Don't. Get it. Admittedly the production was a far cry from a cakewalk, so much interference from 20th Century Fox in fact to the point where the director was fired not once, not twice, but three times a go fuck yourself Hollywood when in truth he was just having to make the best of a terrible situation trying to get this movie in the can and is the movie's biggest detractor to this day because of all this nonsense. To which I reply, I think you did mighty fine work overall. You wanna know what the biggest problem is for me? I'll tell you, it's spoilery as all get out but I'll tell you. To those who want out, go watch it for yourself, I quite liked it, there is something you can get out of it. Kay? Kay. The chestburster in Ripley. That is the most handwaved aspect of the entire movie! How did she get it? When did she get it? Why did it take like a fortnight to burst? I know it's to facilitate the death of the character at the end and bring this shit to a stop as a trilogy, but it's not very well explained much like the egg of the facehugger at the beginning of the movie. And the alien at times looks pretty off which is odd because they used the practical suit technique but green screened it into shots, because that makes sense right? But beyond that, very solid movie. Relatively small gripes wouldn't you say? I'm never letting this go for as long as I live, I shan't. 3 stars, 7/10, I'm out.

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