Thursday, April 27, 2017

The Dark Knight Rises

It's time for Knightfall.

The end is here. All those years, all his enemies, and the Bat was broken. But he came back, 8 years of nothing before Bane comes to Gotham and took the city, making it a no man's land. And the Dark Knight came out of retirement to take control of his city. Was it worthwhile? Was it a brilliant end to an iconic trilogy? Well here's the thing, answers don't give you a sense of satisfaction, sometimes you have to brace yourself for disappointment. I mean, think about it! You've seen this series since it began, the birth of the Batman, the crazy and chaotic Joker pushing him to his limits, and then bang! The ultimate fight for Gotham ensues and ends. Would you be happy? Does it make sense? How come the true villain sucked ass? Well, let's start at the beginning. 8 years since the Batman has been seen, and not all is well. True, Gotham seems to be in a time of peace but Bane has different plans, severing all ties to the outside world and keeping Gotham in his pocket thanks to a four megaton nuclear bomb. He broke the bat, threw him in a pit, and is about to do what Ra's Al Ghul was always planning: destroy Gotham. And hell, that's just the brief basic synopsis. Good gravy is there a lot going on in this movie! What with Bane controlling the city, Bats coming out of retirement, Catwoman doing her own thing, and poor Jimbo scrambling to restore order, it's a miracle you remember what happened in the first movie! But specifics are key here, and really there isn't much to talk about casting and production wise, except for Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle. Great job guys! I thought she was awesome! Now I think the problem many people did not get was this is NOT a Batman story. At all. It's a Bruce Wayne story. It deals with him coming out of retirement, defending a city that hates and fears him, and just him trying to do one last good deed in his lifetime. This is important to know if you choose to see it again. Now onto the villains! Bane is damn near pitch perfect, I mean Tom Hardy friggin' nailed it. This is the comic book Bane, and for those of you who read the comics know what I am talking about, he's brilliant, super genius intellect almost, incredible strength, military backing in some cases, this guy is a true force to be reckoned with. He broke Batman's back, no one has ever hurt him like that before. This shows a capable villain who is a great character in and of himself. But then they done screwed it up! I have no qualms spoiling this, because it's absurdly obvious to the comic book fans, and means precisely nothing to those who want to just watch the movie. The whole mastermind behind all this is Talia Al Ghul, Ra's daughter. Thanks for taking away such excellent menace from Bane and just pissing me off! Seriously?? What the shit is she doing here??? There's no reason!! None! Whatsoever! The character is meaningless, she doesn't even reveal her name until about 15 minutes before the end! Are you fraking kidding me?! This movie is 2 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES LONG!!! God I hate her in this movie, now you might be saying "But Dude that's the point! You're not supposed to like her! She's the bad guy!" but that is not the point! You built up an incredible villain, faithful to the comics, with a damn fine performance, and just chucked it all in to the fraking trash! I knew her whole schtick once she babbled on about having balance or order or some bullshit in the world for the 8 millionth godforsaken time! Also, worst death ever! Oh yeah, she dies. Not in a even slightly satisfactory way! It is literally, the worst on screen death I have ever seen! I mean for Christ's sake, that was the best take you could get?? It's horrible! Oh my God! How do you do this man? Besides that....disgustingly horrible aspect, the rest of the movie is fine. When I first saw it I found it very underwhelming because I didn't want it to end, but you know, it's been 5 years, and the movie has grown on me. I like the scale of the movie, the tone of the movie, (most) of the characters in the movie, the action is very good, the drama hits hard and by the way, shame on you Bruce! You made Alfred cry! That ain't right man! It's a perfectly fine ending to The Dark Knight Trilogy, thaey just done fraked it up in terms of villains. In fact, just watch the How It Should Have Ended video of this movie, if you don't feel like sitting down for almost 3 HOURS! There are movies that warrant that run time, this one....not so much. I can totally get why someone would not want to sit through a movie like this for that long. But honestly when I sat down, it took about 20 minutes for me to get interested and then the rest of the movie pretty much flew right by. But then again, I am used to such run times. 3 hours is a powerful repellent to the uninitiated, but we are initiated aren't we? The ending pissed people off too, I frankly didn't mind. I mean damn, it's all gone now, we got Batfflec and all these new kickass superhero movies coming out, so get over it! Oh, and The Joker totally called it. He was right about everything. That's why we love you Heath! But anyway, I'm done. New reviews next month, you know the drill, thank you so much for reading and I need some ice cream cake now. Happy Birthday to me, The Dude reminding you that the movie reviews will never die.

No comments:

Post a Comment