Borderlands

As a complete and utter noob to this video game series, the movie ain't that bad.

When picking showtimes today this had a whopping 3% on the asswipe of a review website Rotten Tomatoes to which I replied, I'll judge that for myself. And while it's probably not a flawless adaptation and truthfully is a more loose and carefree adventure film with a firm layer of cheese to it, it's decent. It starts off as a kidnap retrieval but spirals into a bit of a treasure hunt as we link up with several members of a dysfunctional group, Lilith a bounty hunter, Roland a soldier, Krieg a bulky specimen not too far from the Mad Max series, Tina the girl kidnapped who kicks off this plot, and Claptrap a quirky robot. In fact quirky kinda sums it up for me, this is a movie that unabashedly just does it's own thing with little consideration for others, the action ranges from typical to wild, the comedy though it did get a few laughs out of me is that particular kind of offbeat where most would claim it cringeworthy, the production and worldbuilding are a teensy bit shaky but overall solid, and the soundtrack actually did a few things for me. But of course this is all from the perspective of someone who knows nothing about the Borderlands video games, I know it's highly stylized with almost cel shading, is based entirely on getting better loot, and seems completely friggin' nuts. I won't mind playing it one day so I can only judge it as a movie on it's own merits. Personally I loved Cate Blanchett to bits in this movie, she looks like she's having a lot of fun and God have mercy on my soul for how much I was crushing on her! Just whew. Ariana Greenblatt I could see some giving a lot of good grief for playing this bratty, better than you, nutball of a kid but I liked her just fine and adored the relationship she had with Krieg. It did take me a quick sec to realize Jack Black voices Claptrap who got the most laughs out of me, and it's been a bloody minute since I've had a four way tie of favorite characters in this film! I don't know if I can pick one over the other, they all bring something that I love and enjoy to the table! Fascinating world that was potrayed, had some Blade Runner, had a fair mix of Mad Max, felt even a bit D&D at periods with some of the encounters. Is it great? No. Is it flat out bad? Far from it. It sits in the middle for me, I can recommend it if you have a taste for oddball adventure stories and hodgepodge character parties. This may sound strange but this movie gave me early 2000s vibes around that 2003 to 2006 era of both sci-fi movies and live action kids movies, it's all just bizzare but hey maybe that fits the world of Borderlands just fine. I give it 2.5 stars, 6.5/10! 

Inglorious Basterds

Got around to seeing it at last.

15 years later on I've heard strangely little about this movie beyond Christoph Waltz who we'll get to, so walking in I was blind but from years of seeing Quentin's films and recognizing that pansche that style he brings I knew it was worth watching. True to himself the movie is split into five chapters, connected in one way or another, of an operation in nazi occupied France to pretty much firebomb the high regime of the third reich as we follow a cinema owner, a group of americans behind enemy lines, and allied agents who all have pieces to the puzzle for ending the war. For a movie clocking in at two and a half hours it does not feel it's length able to build the mood, suspense, and story without rushing and while the characters don't ooze depth they all are immediately identifiable and engaging. Brad Pitt as the Tennesse bred leader of the american party Aldo Raine though not as much a focal point as you would believe is fun to watch and believable in the role. Melanie Laurent as the cinema owner Shosanna has her own agenda and story involving a german soldier, and because she's a theater owner we get to flex those movie muscles bringing up film around the mid 20s to late 30s so that's always great! And maybe this was just me, and I almost hate to say it but I think overhype is the keyword when it comes to Christoph Waltz as the SS officer Hans Landa, at least for me. Far from calling it bad, the dichotomy of how Waltz plays it so charming and nonchalant before seeing the cold dead stare and meticulous extermination of jewish people is indeed great, you almost get lost in the pleasantries before you remember oh yeah, nazi fuck! But somehow without spoilers I've heard people tout Landa as one of the greatest movie villains over the years and I just saw a solid performance. And I will give credit where it's due that Quentin Tarantino doesn't make light of the second world war, it does stand all on it's own as a war movie an alternate history war movie but regardless it takes itself seriously and doesn't shy away from the so called "Just War" when really it wasn't so black and white. It's no Django Unchained and just replace racist bigots with natzis, but nor is it a gritty as hell reality grounded war epic like All Quiet On The Western Front or Saving Private Ryan, there are some quirks of Tarantino but largely is it's own beast. That stated however the violence and blood is upped, the entirely practical production is outstanding with the period clothing and sets and the startling pyrotechnics. Soundtrack is pretty bitchin' too but that's to be expected! I'm so happy I got around to seeing it and talking about it, I do recommend it but the caveat here is Quentin Tarantino is a diverse filmmaker and you never know what project is next for him leading to different tastes and tones so don't walk into it expecting a Pulp Fiction or Once Upon A Time In Hollywood kinda vibe. It's something different but worthwhile and trying different stuff can be exciting. 3.5 stars, 8/10, and I guess Civil War is up next. Not the historical Civil War, no not the Marvel Civil War, the other Civil War. Yeah that one.

The House With A Clock In Its Walls

I'd say it was worth the bit of grief I had to put up with.

I really thought I was not going to make it to this movie, but I'm very happy I did. This is a good movie, it's a family movie first with literal fantastic elements, and I genuinely wanted this movie to be a movie kids could watch in the future around Halloween time and it would fit the mood. Thankfully I was correct, it feels a part of that season without it explicitly being October, I think it works incredibly well with the armosphere and world it is trying to potray. So the story follows a young boy named Lewis who recently lost his parents and is taking residence in his uncle Jonathan house where he soon discovers that not only his uncle but his next door neighbor Florence are in fact magic users. The kid learns more and more magic abilities all the while a ticking clock is heard inside the walls. Good story, I like how they handled it, they set up pretty good lore and rules in this world. Anybody can learn magic if you have the right books, it's very Doctor Strange, there are unholy entities in this world, several superstitions are called as facts, this I found really interesting and got me involved. But the absolute best part is easily Jack Black and Cate Blanchett, they make this movie great. Their chemistry is beautiful and they are such fun! Owen Vaccaro also does extremely well as Lewis bringing some good heart and personality to an essential blank slate of a kid, and what really surprised me is they do a good job addressing the death of loved ones. You can have good days, you can have fun, you do form attachments to things they gave you, but sometimes you still are emotionally devastated and still reflect on the time you had with them. In fact there were a few moments where I was like, "Oh wow, that couldn't make it in just a kids movie!" hell they even pull a straight up Monster Squad and I was just as wowed as the first time seeing it in that movie! There is some terrible and crass humor but yhe good outweighs the bad and I did really like this movie. A definite go see if you have kids or just want some magic in your life!

Next time we look at a legit suspense (maybe even horror?) movie from one of the obvious studios for such entertainment. That's right, Disney!!