John Wick: Chapter 4

I really hate to say this but I don't feel this will be a competent review.

I was an absolute fool, and you can quote me on that, not taking the opportunity to do an In Retrospect of John Wick 3 because I am always on the level here and I speak plainly. I did not remember jack shit about the last 3 movies, I mean nothing. Nada. Zip. And...it's kinda friggin' pertinent information to have so it almost legitimately was like I walked into this movie without watching previous installments. Hell I re-read my old reviews to try to jog my memory and it didn't ring a bell, ding a bell, or ting a bell in my head. So I apologize profusely in advance, if I sound like I don't know what I'm talking about...yeah. So we pick up some time after Parabellum, John is still excommunicated, Winston and Charon are in hot water with the higher ups, and some bitch boy lieutenant apparently thinks he has John Wick's number. I don't remember if that guy was in the last movie, I think he was, but fuck that guy in this movie! He just irked me the right way that few villains can do, so props for that completely! Seeing Ian and Lance again in these roles was simultaneously joyous and bittersweet, I mean nobody could have foresaw Lance Reddick's unfortunate and very sudden passing and it just sucked man. Cause I greatly enjoyed his bits in these movies and now that's it. And of course Keanu back in the suit again (and I will talk about that suit I assure you), it's another fine outing for him and once more he relies on almost silent acting with few lines and lets his body language do the talking. And I gotta say, for an almost 3 hour film which didn't feel it's length, I greatly appreciate the not necessarily lack of action scenes but more the balance between action and quiet moments, I think I counted 5 action sequences total. Granted they are very lavishly choreographed, wonderfully even ingeniously shot at long stretches of time but never feeling dull. Yet the shining pieces of the movie are the beautiful, and I do truly mean beautiful, quiet, peaceful interludes that just worked wonders for me. Pay attention to that shit! But I also give my thanks for them just going all out and giving us an eastern sword duel with Donnie Yen and Hiroyuki Sanada and a western gun duel with Keanu, briefly settling into the rhythm and filmmaking of those genres as nothing but loving homage. However! Yell at me if you wish but was the bulletproof clothing in the last movie? I don't mean the fully decked out head to toe, nary an opening, straight up special forces armor. Oh no, I mean the fucking jump the shark, tailored, nice ass suits which are bulletproof. What. The fuck? I think I would recall something like that previously and shout bullshit! It makes zero goddamn sense both in universe and from a filmmaking perspective other than they needed an excuse to make the fight scenes longer. Well shit, how do we do that? What if we made our characters impervious like the last son of Krypton? My God, Johnson's done it again! And motherfuck, I said what I meant and I meant what I said, you do not fall 3 storeys onto a van and just walk that shit off. Bulletproof suit or not. It really kept taking me out of it. Now one scene that did not and if anything got my nerves skyrocketing is the staircase segment, where it's like the fucking Exorcist Steps × 100, just because of a ticking clock implemented. Well done on that! And even that ain't got shit on the Zelda shootout, you'll understand that reference when you see it classic gamers out there. I mean sweet Jesus that was a feat! I did actually expect the movie to end on an ambiguous note because I heard something about the director wanting to take a break before the next John Wick movie but it ends on a solid definitive note which thank you for that as well. So I don't know man, I'm stumped. Did I like it? A good deal yeah! But booooy howdy do I need to have me a little movie marathon once this hits video and re-evaluate my stance. But all in all I give it 3.5 stars, 8/10! And tomorrow is nothing but the beginning of the end or perhaps the end of the beginning.

IT: Chapter Two

Okay, they did pretty good.

I still feel the best adaptation of IT was the first half of this story, the 90s mini-series is decent but the first chapter I guess we call it was the best. Now that's not to say this second chapter is bad, I really enjoyed the cast and did feel like those would be the grown ups of our young actors, they did good! I infinitely enjoyed and appreciated the way they handled the second half and more importantly the ending than the mini-series, but more on that later. So our story is much of the same, kids keep disappearing in the town hardly anyone leaves Derry which leads Mike to phone up the Loser's Club to come back and tie up some loose ends, as our cast reconnects and in a clever but underplayed way have to reach back into the past and uncover more than they remember. I absolutely love how they handled the flashbacks though brief they are, they show additional scenes with the young actors after important events have happened in the previous movie and thus you see more of their character and dilemmas as an audience along with the characters. Plus it all ties in the end, where our heroes face Pennywise more on almost metaphysical plane with some straight up Doctor Strange camera movements, editing, and action, it gets a little trippy but it's wonderfully put together! Obviously they have to attack Pennywise but I love the fact they have to gather actual physical pieces of their past in order to defeat him, I know everybody is going to throw McGuffin at this but I see a bit deeper into it. They reach back into their memories of the past, creating feelings of nostalgia but because the last movie was so much more the nostalgia dripped throwback film with references everywhere it's more underplayed and it's there for story purposes than, ooohhhh 80s stuff!!! That's something I appreciate. But something I appreciate more is Mr. Skarsgard himself, we see Pennywise a lot more in this movie, more scenes, more dialogue, a lot of him in broad daylight to show he's more confident than ever to claim victims, and of course he is a joy to watch. However! He was so damn enjoyable he kinda hurt the film for me, we all know he can shapeshift and change into various things, but I just didn't care that much for the various scary imagery in this movie. Do you know why? It's a super secret secret but I'll tell you anyway. Are you listening? Are you listening? Listen good. Because the majority of scares are godforsaken jumpscares!! Jesus fish, there is so many jumpscares that if I had a dollar for everyone I would have enough money to see every last new movie coming out this year. It gets old and it gets old quick. The only effective scares I got where with the flip flappin' dancing clown! Probably because Bill is an awesome actor and can make you feel uneasy and genuinely creeped out. I don't care about the stripping granny, I don't care about the leper, I do not care about the giant lumberjack statue. Send in the clowns! When I can make a joke about the reason this movie is 3 hours long is because you pad it with so many jumpscares, maybe you put too many in. It's the sad state of affairs for horror movies in this day and age, why do you think I praised It Follows so much? Because while the movie does have jumpscares it rarely used them, it didn't need to use them because the concept itself is actually scary and there was a constand mood of dread and helplessness. That just isn't here with the horror. And I regret to report that much like the first movie it has a hard time juggling comedy and horror, and it's actually funny! The writing is good! But right after suffering another jumpscare you throw a joke out there, it doesn't help relieve the burst of tension it just sort of falls flat. That was the one bad thing about the first movie, it couldn't juggle horror and comedy well together, now on seperate scenes with just the main characters the comedy shines, and when it's one on one with the kids the horror also works. It is so difficult to mix two such elements, many people can't get it so I won't ever hold it against the filmmaker. I genuinely liked the final confrontation, it was something different than the first movie and the finale of the mini-series, they really played their cards right and the conclusion actually made total sense. Yes even with the weird spider thing it worked like a charm! If you genuinely hated the finale of the original you have got to check out this movie, I really think you will appreciate and enjoy it. The movie was good do not get me wrong, I just had issues of my own but I know other people can look past it and enjoy this movie as much as the first. I mean for God's sake you kinda already have to see the damn movie if you sat through the first, so I know I'm preaching to the choir here but this is for mainly sharing opinions on the film than a question of rather you should see it or not. You shouldn't watch The Room or Troll 2 but sweet Christmas is it a blast to talk about with friends. So yes, you are no doubt going to see it if you haven't already but for those who might need some reassurance, definitely check it out. 3 stars, 7/10, thumbs up from me! But now the question is who will be the clown of the year? Well check back with me in about a month and we shall find out.

Next week....who knows? I'm still planning it. Bye!

In Retrospect: IT (2017)

It has gotten better on a second viewing, I will give IT that. (Ha, ha, ha......)

Yes, IT has grown on me since the first go around. The tonal issues I had have subsided and now that I think about it, I have never seen a straight up horror movie with comic relief throughout. That jarred me a bit but now I can roll with it. The characters are all memorable and the actors have done an amazing job with them, the Losers Club being some of the best acting I've seen in awhile, especially from kids. The whole film was just so well made, and yeah maybe they made it the 80s because of it's resurgence in popular media because of Stranger Things but truthfully, it was bound to happen soon. Same stuff happened in the 80s with the 50s, every roughly 30 years a decade has great fondness for a past decade, which brought up a really good point from one of my friends. He said something to the extent of, everyone who is making movies now has fond memories of the 80s, they grew up during that time and have become nostalgic of it so that's why it's cropping up so much now. That generation is grown up and making stuff now. Which is really awesome to me, for various reasons. I am a highly nostalgic person, I love the things from my youth and share my opinions and views about them. So does that mean in say...2025 the 90s are gonna strike back and everyone will be wearing Jinco jeans, and drinking Zima and Crystal Pepsi while listening to N*Sync and movies will reflect that era of history? That seems to be the trend so I'm curious as to what the future holds. I do love the 80s and seeing that time frame be so prevalent now is a real treat, regardless of if it's a popular trend or not (It is, don't tell anybody. Shh.). But yeah, the movie really did get better, I still cannot contain my laughter at Bill Skarsgard, I am so sorry to all those people afraid of clowns but he just cracks me up. I mean he's weird, but god dang it is he entertaining and makes me laugh. I cannot hate things that make me happy! I like clowns! They are wonderful people and really due to the 90s IT movie is why people have this stigma against them. But I see the humor in his performance as Pennywise and it is a great performance, he is what made this movie for me. Granted I have no idea how this next movie will go down set in the modern day, though thinking about it now Maine probably hasn't changed terribly since the 80s, just saying. No idea if they're doing the spider thing, most likely are, it's more a matter of how the design looks for me to be on board with that element. Really the book is notoriously long, spanning over 1000 pages, War And Peace is over a 1000 pages but for a book like War And Peace it makes sense, and many people have said it reads pretty much like a cocaine bender with tons of oddities and thankfully cut scenes in the adaptations, so really anything can go. I doubt it will be better than the first but here's hoping. So yeah, it is well worth your money to own it, it is a great movie that is done almost pitch perfect, so buy it, rent it, watch it, and you'll float like the rest of us. Now I'm off to listen to New Kids On The Block. Pray for me.

IT (2017)

Okay, new movie! New horror movie even! Was it good? Eh...

Okay so I have not read the novel, and haven't even really sat and watched the whole TV miniseries because I...favor my sanity, so how did this movie stack up? Well, it was really good. Had it's faults mind you, but most could be overlooked. So for the people who are wondering what's the deal with the clown I shall try and tell the story without sounding like I forgot to take my medication. So basically a town is plagued by a supernatural being, able to shift into your worst nightmares, and a small group of kids are being hunted by this thing and they have to try and save themselves and their town from It. Now, onto the bad things! This movie aggravated me. Not because it was bad, but certain elements rubbed me the wrong way. A lot. I pose a question, why does every horror movie rely on jumpscares? Every...single...time a legit scare happens BANG! Loud noise. You're killing me Smalls. You just can't be properly scared anymore, gone are the days of atmosphere and suspense. And the worse part is, the movie tries to build atmosphere through set design, music, lighting, and pacing. But then it gets ruined by the friggin' jumpscares! God give me strength. I'd dare you to take a shot everytime a loud noise happened but you would be comatose, if not dead before half of the movie was over. You can scare people with silence, I assure you. And the other problem, the biggest problem is mood. My sweet baby Moses, this movie has such tone issues. If you want to scare people silly, do it. Do not, I repeat DO NOT make endless jokes. Now granted the comedy in this is funny. But that's the problem! It shouldn't be funny!! When you go from, child being murdered in the sewers to talking about how big someone's johnson is, this is what we call 'ruining atmosphere' or as I like to call it, bipolar. Stop it! But...the movie has good parts in it. The kids are great, so great that this movie passes supernatural horror and could be a really thoughtful and realistic look in pre-teen years. The human element was believable, you can empathize with these kids, and they are all very likable! I hate to say this but, IT would have been a better movie without the clown! Now don't get me wrong Bill Skarsgard was, phenomenal. He made me terrified and laugh at the same time! Loved his performance in this movie! God, he's awesome! But I kinda just wanted a movie about these kids and their problems because they were that great. And you do get this Stranger Things vibe, the movie is set in the late 80s, supernatural things are occuring, and it focuses on kids but it does not distract from the movie. This was leaps and bounds better than the miniseries, the only thing that had going for it was Tim Curry and I laughed at him more than be scared of him. This movie allowed for more creative things because of it's budget. There is cgi in this movie, and it's only noticeable near the end, but it does more than the miniseries. In fact, it takes scenes and scares from the miniseries but add it's own twist to it. So like, I knew what was coming but was thrown a curveball. So that helped out a lot. So all in all, it was a good movie, I do think I would recommend it for the actors in it but not so much the scares. Oh, and while I'm here why do people hate clowns? Everyone says IT made people afraid of clowns, and I don't get it. I like clowns, they are funny people whose sole goal in life is to make people smile. So what's the stigma against clowns? They get a bad rep man. But anyway, it's good to be back at this time of the year and I will be back next week with more things to talk about. See you then!