Scoob

Damn it nooooo!

Ugh, I wanted it to be better! Guys I wasn't expecting Mystery Incorporated levels of quality but I had hope this would be the one theatrically released Scooby-Doo movie that would be good! It's not. It's slightly above average, I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. I think the animation is really dang nice, it's fluid and dynamic and the colors are rich and vibrant. The cast takes time to get used to but that's because I know these characters and who voices them, but they do decent work. Even the story on paper isn't bad, Scooby and Shaggy team up with Blue Falcon and Dyno-Mutt to fight Dick Dastardly and foil his plans. That is a simple plot, that is a fun plot, it wouldn't be out of place in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon at alllll, but the humor is what really shoots this movie in the foot. Now I will say it did make me laugh occasionally, but my sweet merciful God this movie is dated and it just came out! How can a cartoon so obviously produced in 1969 be more timeless than this?? Oh by the sainted Hallow's Eve, the humor just needed more work. It's so....ugh, Minions level of humor except worse. This hurts guys, this cuts me on a deep level, I wanted this movie to be good and I had hopes it would be after seeing the trailer, but it fell flat by the dumb choices. It's like if you combined the tropes and characters of Scooby-Doo with a cookie cutter, high budget, star studded 3D animated movie. What sort of topsy turvy reality do we live in when the live action spinoff that looks like it would be hot garbage dead on arrival, is so much more entertaining, fun, and interesting? Daphne And Velma was such a different take on the world of this series, but held up due to the world building it crafted, the different but familiar characters, and surprisingly strong humor! Sure the movie got me with references to The Hex Girls, and a plethora of other Hanna-Barbera cartoons which of course I know all the names of because I'm a friggin' dork (I still wanted to see the Herculoids!), and it filled me with happiness to see these characters even as slight nods in the background, but a good movie that does not make. They don't even have a mystery to solve, we know what Dick Dastardly is up to and why he's doing it which defies everything Scooby-Doo is, yeah the characters are done as they usually are, the voice cast isn't half bad with of course major love going to Frank Welker but also Jason Isaacs (I just love that guy so much), I dig the animation designs, it just seems like all the pieces were there to make a very good if not great movie. But the ball was dropped in places which forces the score to go down lower and lower. I've seen some shit in my day with Scooby-Doo, and this movie is by no means terrible but I cannot in good conscious recommemd this movie even if you are a hardcore, forever dedicated, unconditionally loving fan of Scooby-Doo such as myself. Which could harm seeing a new proper Scooby movie in the future so much. We had to wait about 15 years from Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed to this, and now I genuinely shudder to think how long it will be until a new iteration is brought to us on the big screen. This week started off so well, and it went south in a real hurry. But nothing ever is going to stop me from loving Scooby-Doo, I have suffered through the live action movies, Return To Zombie Island, the not so good direct to video entries, and I still stick around. Why? Because I love it, it means the world to me, I couldn't quit it even if you put a gun to my head. 2.5 stars, 6/10. So instead go check out Mask Of The Blue Falcon, check out the other movies I reviewed this week, pick up the Mystery Incorporated series that's like $30 online, I'm gonna go eat some sour cream and onion chips with chocolate pudding and take a nap.

The Greatest Showman

Okay this is a hard movie to talk about, not because of some tragedy surrounding the film or because it's bad, but....because it's a musical.

Musicals are very hard to sell. Musical movies are incredibly hard to sell, they lack logic and are built on pure feels so this is your chance to take a lifeboat off the ship now and go see something else. For those of you who stuck around, I present to you The Greatest Showman, a film concerning the life of a P.T. Barnum that lived as a street urchin in the early 1800s who decides to bring joy to people and creates a sort of proto-circus. Always seeking for something better for him and his family, he reaches for the stars, stumbles, but regains his footing and ends all in all very happily. Now I am going to try to keep this brief, because there is always a lot to talk about in terms of musicals on film so I will just say, the visuals are outstanding with perfect framing, use of color, and editing. You attach yourself deeply to Mr. Barnum, and really want to see the best happen to him. Hugh Jackman is awesome, of course. Zac Efron was...good. I liked him in this movie, and that is coming from a guy who is not quite his biggest fan. All the supporting cast is great, but especially the performers in his circus, they are such endearing, human, likeable characters that I wanted to see all the time and wanted to know more about them. The music, oh God here we go. Rambling incoming!! With every musical I have ever seen, the music matches the setting, tone, and overall story. Phantom Of The Opera my favorite musical ever, the music fits the setting of the Paris Opera House, the time frame the play is set in, and the tone of the musical being romance based and dealing with the characters. It fits, it works, it does not seem out of place. The Greatest Showman has straight up 2017 music in a Victorian era setting. It does not work at all, though some of the songs are quite good. You can tell it is modern day music being used several centuries ago, and it feels wrong. Though I have not seen many musicals, never have I experienced this problem. Camelot, Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Producers, all films have their signature style of music and all work. Even Moulin Rouge did this and while I have not seen Moulin Rouge I can tell you the movie is meloframatic as hell and completely surreal and dreamlike, so anything goes with it because it embraces the absurdity and emotional crux. The Greatest Showman is a good movie, a decent musical, I liked a few of the songs, all the performances were spot on, but I know it is not for everyone. Musicals are not marketable to wide audiences, it died in the 60s thanks to Hello Dolly and didn't really come back until the early 2000s. I mean really, what was the last musical you saw in a movie theater? Not Disney, no animation, real people, real sets, singing away on multiple occasions. This is my first to be honest. Every other I saw on video! So it's rare to talk about such a movie and it's not easy to talk about. Though it does inhabit the medium of film (and I don't think this movie had a stage predecessor) it's like comparing a golden retriever to a zebra, it's two very different things. Now before I go, I do very extremely highly recommend you watch Lindsay Ellis' video essay on the 2004 Phantom Of The Opera movie. I had to watch it before I wrote my review, because of the information she gives would be crucial to my writing, and everything I did not say in terms of musical movies she does. I would have had this review up literally an hour ago but I needed that information because I don't do musicals often or hardly at all. I'll leave a link below, you only really have to stick around for about 15 minutes but the rest of the video is still extremely valid to view.

Lindsay's 2004 Phantom Essay: https://youtu.be/-m5I_5Vnh6A

Well that's it for me. Have a good night, morning, afternoon, whatever. And take what I took away from it all, do you, be you, do the things that bring you joy and hopefully it helps bring a little happiness into the world.

Dirty Grandpa

Whew, what a movie. Made me laugh to beat the band.

Dirty Grandpa is a crude, hilarious, and all around crazy comedy starring Robert De Niro and Zac Efron. I love Robert De Niro, but I hate Zac Efron. The plot pretty much follows a grandfather and grandson after the death of a family member, so the grandfather wants to live it up while he still can and spend time with his grandson...in the most batcrap crazy way humanly possible. The more I watched it I realized it was a unique spin on The Hangover, cause there's a wedding involved and they go on this crazy journey and find out stuff for themselves about how they want to live their life. It's not a carbon copy but you can pick up that, oh yeah that was like in The Hangover. Beyond that it's a pretty good film on it's own, although it has some of the most hated cliches in cinema history but I enjoyed the crass situations, and very lewd humor. There's even a character that is by all means, an absolute parody of idiot horny teenagers, and my God is it beautiful. This movie fully warrants the R rating, so tread lightly if movies like The Hangover isn't exactly your cup of tea. It's not a bad movie, I thought it was quite good but it is not for everyone, no way no how. I'm happy I saw it, but I don't think I would buy it. That achievement goes to The Intern, which is just a fantastic movie. All in all, I'd say give it a rent if you are in a very adventurous spirit, but if not you aren't missing the movie rental of the year. Good film, laughed my ass off, let's see what Redbox has for us next.