Die Another Day

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but that ain't saying much.

I was incredibly shocked at how much I was slightly enjoying Die Another Day, some of the dialogue was really good, some bits of action were pretty damn cool, and while the movie is an absolute hot mess it's not my most hated Bond film. The plot is a bit mad but it has elements that were taken and done correctly in the Craig films, with Bond being captured and tortured for well over a year in North Korea before being traded for an army official that Bond is quite strongly feeling like going after though his 00 status has been cut, he soon meets up with a NSA agent named Jinx as they try to stop the powerful businessman Gustav Graves and his solar lazer called Icarus. I honestly don't know where to begin with this movie. It has some real stupid stuff in it, but there are a few elements which aren't half bad. Yes the CG is laughably terrible almost Spy Kids level quality, but the car chase on the ice with two gadget filled cars is pretty amazing if criminally short. Yes the plot and characters are absurd at times, but the actors don't do a bad job and look like they're having a bit of fun. It's such a mixed bag. Brosnan could have went out on a stronger note but he does okay in this last movie. Halle Berry isn't terrible and genuinely looks happy to be in a Bond film and I quite liked her character, she seemed to be so much more the spy than James oddly enough. Toby Stephens is actually really good in this movie but his character just makes you want to...drink. Rick Yune does pretty well as the henchman and has a cool look if nothing else though again it's bizarre. This film gets brutal though man, I mean daaamn people got all up in arms over Licence To Kill but this movie makes that look like the friggin' Care Bears. Licence To Kill had a quick shot of an exploding head and a shooting of a corpse, but this movie has dismemberment, throat stabbing, lazers blasting through people's heads, it's pretty gruesome and dark at times. Why though, I don't know. God I have such conflicted opinions on this, on one hand it's way too out there for a Bond film and severely hurts the series, but on the other hand it has some decent moments and isn't a complete dumpster fire. So the big question right now is, do I like it more than Thunderball? Well Thunderball got a 5/10 from me and to be perfectly honest Die Another Day gave me a bit more entertainment. So I will give what many consider to be the worst Bond film a 5.5/10, 2.5 stars, you can skip it and I won't blame you but at the same time it has a few highlights. I will however say that after hearing Queen Elizabeth II attended the premiere of this movie, even I feel I have to apologize to Her Majesty for this and I didn't do a thing on this movie. I remember when I rented this from Blockbuster back in the day one night, and I got maybe 10-15 minutes into the movie and I fell right asleep, I had to have been 7 maybe even 8 years old and I don't think I really watched it again after that the next morning and I couldn't remember a damn thing that happened in that movie. So this has been my first viewing in 17 years, and I feel I can go a lot longer than that until my next viewing of this movie. Annnnd that's where we will stop, I hate it too but until the week that No Time To Die premieres this is the end for the James Bond reviews and really the Daniel Craig films are a reboot anyway so it works that way as well. It was a real blast to go through all of them and finally talk about a series that I've been watching just as long as Star Wars or any Jim Carrey movie so I hope you've enjoyed it. I shall attempt to get something out before the month is over and I'm giving myself a personal Christmas gift this f***tacular year, and I'm not reviewing a damn thing in December that has anything to do with cheer, joy, or good will toward men. There will only be dark music in my domain.