Battlefield Earth

Screw it, I had fun, if not the most fun I've had this month.

Battlefield Earth is highly renowned for it's badness, swept the Razzies, was one of the most bashed films of this millenium, and probably is the reason you never really see John Travolta in movies anymore. The story is complicated, set in a post-apocalyptic world where a race of aliens has conquered Earth and humankind is near extinction, and I really didn't want either side to win the ruling of Earth. The humans are barely one step above cavemen and speak like brain damaged 4th graders, the aliens are hilarious in design and somehow speak more like humans than the actual humans and I'm just gonna say it, this is my favorite John Travolta role ever. Saturday Night Fever, Grease, Pulp Fiction, pssh it ain't got nothing on Terl. "While you were still learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME I was being trained TO CONQUER GALAXIES!!" Ohhh my sweet baby Jesus, he is so much fun, I laugh my ass off just about everytime he is on screen. If there was ever a reason to watch this movie it is because of his performance! I will give the movie a few points, the designs of the aliens though gut busting hilarious is unique and even their ship designs don't rip anything off but it just goes to show how originality isn't always the best thing. Second, I did not see a single actor who looked embarassed or really did not want to be there filming, they pull this shit dead straight and it is amazing. The sad part is Travolta still defends this movie and would gladly do it again, but Forest Whitaker was in the movie, though you probably couldn't tell because of the makeup, completely regrets it! I mean who could turn down a role where you're 9 foot aliens with dreadlocks and finger talons with weird breathing tendril masks calling other actors man-animals? It's Oscar worthy material! And you can't talk about the movie if you don't talk about the shots. Every single shot in the movie, every one, is a dutch angle and a dutch angle is where the camera is tilted at a 45° angle so everything looks slanted, and I caught myself multiple times tilting my head like I'm Michael Myers just trying to see things on a even level. Why is every frame at an angle? Well believe it or not, there is an answer and you're gonna love this! The cinematographer said he wanted the movie to resemble a comic book so that's why every shot is at an angle. Well of course! It all makes sense now! Oh my God, this movie is bad but it is a highly enjoyable bad. The movie has a reputation for a reason, it is so bad that you laugh and you laugh hard. It's perfect for a really shlock movie night with friends, you can get endless entertainment if you riff on this movie and have a few drinks. So if that sounds like your cup of tea, go for it.

Man this month has been a bit of a roller coaster ride. From Manos and movies that are really funny, to suffering through each subsequent Twilight movie, to the point where before we look at the last few pieces de resistance, I'm gonna give myself a break and watch a bad movie I genuinely like. I haven't picked which one yet but they both star the original Captain America all the way from back in the 70s. Yes, tomorrow we get to talk about Reb Brown.

In Retrospect: Rogue One

You may fire when ready.

I forgot how amazing Peter Cushing was in this! I don't care if it's cgi, it's Peter Cushing back to do another movie. Automatic 12 stars out of 10, when you add Carrie Fisher in this as well. I love Star Wars, the original 1977 Star Wars was the first movie I ever saw if you have somehow forgotten that, I already talk about it enough. But it was the first time I saw these actors in my life, and then through the years I saw them in more things. And they are gone now, so it was both triumphant and crushing to see them in this movie again. So Rogue One is still a great Star Wars movie, now that I have watched Rebels, I noticed several more easter eggs that flew by me the first viewing in theaters. It was a lot of fun, the characters in my opinion got better with repeated viewings. Now that I have the ability to rewind and pause, I could gather much more evidence of good performances in this movie. Jyn Erso still feels like an outsider to it all but becomes a true Rebel as the film progresses, Cassian Andor is this hard edged, no nonsense captain willing to do shall we say...morally ambiguous things. In fact, the Rebel Alliance isn't all comradery and heroes and doing the right thing no matter what. They do bad things in this movie, which is very much more like a real war, not everybody believes in their side and does things they may not be proud of. That is a great aspect. Krennic is a backstabbing son of a mother, has no respect or anything for other people, so he gets under your skin quickly. All the side characters like Baze or Ip Man (Yeah I know his name is Chirrut, but it's Donnie Yen so he's Ip Man!) got a lot better as well. Everyone says the Battle of Scarif is the best space battle in Star Wars, I would still say either of the Death Star assaults but it is pretty spectacular. I still am not a fan of Vader's castle on Mustafar though, now people would argue "Well it's on Mustafar because that's where he lost everything. Being there taps into his anger, and pain, therefore making him more powerful in the dark side." and I don't like it. I loved the idea he had this castle on a remote, desolate ice planet, more desolate than Hoth that he could retreat to away from the Emperor. The imagery alone in my mind makes it so badass but whatever, I didn't make the movie. The ending scene was still unbelievable, and it does indeed just keep getting more awesome every time. So worth buying it, so awesome still, Rogue One makes a fine addition to my collection. Will it be part of yours too?

Rogue One

I'm not disappointed.

New Star Wars movie!!! How was it? They did a very good job with it, it was a well made, well put together movie that encapsulates what happened before A New Hope. I enjoyed it, the story I totally rolled with, it was very believable that this is how the Rebels got the Death Star plans. The cast was great, even though I'm not the biggest Felicity Jones fan but Mads Mikkelsen and Donnie Yen and James Earl Jones were fantastic, and I have to say we see some unexpected faces in this movie. I was stunned to see so many familiar faces from the series. Senator Bail Organa from Episode 3 made an appearance, Darth Vader obviously, those two hecklers in the cantina from Episode 4, mentions of Obi-Wan, but most shocking of all was Peter Cushing. I was wondering if they were going to put Tarkin in the movie but...there he was! Peter Cushing as I live and breathe! It looked just like him, it sounded like him, I was freaking out in my seat whenever I saw him! That was positively shocking, the effects in this movie were so outstanding that they brought an old friend back from years gone by. Speaking of which, the film looks amazing with plenty of space battles, and blaster fights throughout. I was wondering if they were almost going to do a straight up war movie, and while it did have it's moments it still felt like Star Wars. They didn't screw around with the continuity, in fact they got it down impeccably with the attention to detail in all you see and remember from the original Star Wars. I'd like to see someone whine about that exhaust port on the Death Star now. What was surprising most is, most of the footage in the trailers is NOT in the movie. A good 80% of all the trailers look drastically different from the finished film. Now other films were like this, like Suicide Squad, the movie looked ever so slightly different from the film (Don't worry I still need to look back at Suicide Squad, I haven't forgotten.) but with this movie you might as well have not seen the trailers. Great movie, definitely go see it, I know I probably will again! Thanks for reading, enjoy the movie, and I shall see you guys next week.