Alien Romulus

Thank the space gods!

Good news, it was better than Ressurection. It is undoubtedly kind of a mish mash of all previous Alien movies, has that haunted house style buildup of the first, a bit of action from Aliens, the desperate hunt from Alien 3, there's even a bit of Ressurection in there but done so friggin' much better it's like not even a laughing matter. Set after the destruction of the Nostromo from the original Alien we follow a young lady named Rain and her synthetic friend Andy as they accompany a group of salvagers to an oribiting space station to secure cryopods for the deep space journey to another world. The movie take it's time setting everything up and starts to build the characters before we even step foot on the Romulus station, and it's not quite the same as that bleak buildup in Aliens where you know shit went down, it's business as usual until one action dominoes the gates of hell opening. It's damn near 2 hours with credits but we get a solid introduction and grasp on the crew and their personalities which I appreciate. It's far too easy to make meat for the grinder instead of writing real characters but that's not found here. Rain and Andy are a quite sweet duo lead and I certainly wanted them to make it out, but even the salvage crew for the most part are likeable average day people who get dragged into this nightmare which I like. The visuals are honestly better than Covenant by a country mile, effortlessly constructing that analogue tech and the claustrophobic interiors with all the modern toys of filmmaking so pure gold across the board in that department. They make the facehuggers and xenomorphs scary again, maybe even more than the original, and the design work is something to be admired. Alien bodysuits, animatronic facehuggers, mmm it's a bit special. There really only was one aspect I didn't like and not even really because it's bad it's just something I strongly disagreed with, but you'll know it when you see it. And yes you absolutely should see it over the weekend, it's just right for Alien fans and I think they'll get a good deal out of it. Hell even if this was your first foray into that universe, and judged the film purely on it's own merits I feel you would still dig it. I loved it and am so happy to report we are back baby! 3.5 stars, 8/10, and grab one of those rad popcorn buckets if you get the chance!

Evil Dead (2013)

I don't really know what I was expecting but I figured it would be wise to cover my bases before the new movie hit Friday.

Now I'm not what you would call a mega fan of the Evil Dead movies, I like the first one, I love the second one, and I really like Army Of Darkness. I haven't heard much in the decade since this movie's release, maybe seen a trailer, but this was very much a blind first viewing. And how I wish I could say it was a good movie. I can't even say if it's a remake or a semi-sequel, it seems much more like a reimagining. A group of friends or more I should say a support circle arrive at the infamous cabin for a young girl named Mia who's been struggling with drugs, and of course they find the fruit cellar, poke around, and find a book clearly NO ONE WANTS THEM TO READ! I will give you a hint what transpires, blood. It's not a good sign when a group of five characters in search of an exit are presented and only two of them I like. One of them being friggin' Tabitha from Gotham, and Mia herself. The rest, which unfortunately, we center on for the majority of the film I cannot stand in the least. You're probably familiar with a certain trope of horror movies that concerns very dumb people, yeah there's a bit of that here. It...God almighty, I was so over it. I know you gotta speak the words for the spooky shit to occur but this was egregious man, I mean purposefully out of the way for one of these fucks to know the words and then inexplicably say it out loud. At least it kinda worked in previous movies cause it was on a tape recorder and they didn't know necessarily about the Necronomicon, but this shit heel finds it wrapped in plastic and barb wire, sees the skin bound binding, with seven inches of satanic panic thick pages with clear evidence of blood and he just keeps fiddling with it. How about....no. There's so many bad decisions to be found here. So yeahhh, story is okay but the characters butcher it more than any deadite ever was. However, all is not lost cause holy shit balls! The effects, top tier, 10/10, it's gnarly! I mean wowww the gore is insane and I'd say 99% of it is done all in camera for real for real, all practical baby! So color me grossed out and beyond amazed. Not a great reliance on jumpscares too so hey brownie points for that. I like the look of the film, undoubtedly modern but has a crisp clear cinematography where it mixes a tinge of atmosphere, eerie lighting, and rich blood spewing. It's a grotesque film and the demons or deadites or whatever go for straight horror and do a decent job of it. But is it enough of a saving grace for the movie? Well just as a tribute let's do those drive-in totals, we have: 4 undead bodies, 1 dead dog, brain bashing, glass stabbing, possesed foliage, bloody rain, pyromania, arms roll, hands roll, nailgun-fu, needle-fu, chainsaw-fu, 2.5 stars check it out. I'd personally skip it but if you can find a special effects highlight reel online, you will see craftsmanship of a rare breed. 5/10, I'm honestly terrified to see Evil Dead Rise cause boy this week has not been kind in the movie department. I beg to all the forces of the cosmos, both good and ill, let the next movie be decent. It holds promise and looks decent but that has yet to be decided by me.