I would like to issue a statement rescinding all hatred towards Christmas, and that David Harbour might be the best Santa. This is not issued under duress or fear of being brutally murdered. I clearly have always held Christmas highly and wish nothing but joy to the world. Uhhh....HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
But in all seriousness for a movie I had next door to average expectations, shitting hell it was actually pretty great! I saw legit effort and commitment to this idea and no slapdash treatment for an admittedly silly movie idea. I could compare certain elements of the plot to films like Die Hard or Home Alone but I really don't want to sell this movie short, for a movie about a home invasion disrupted by Santa Claus I genuinely was greatly entertained, horrified by the violence, and did feel that Christmas heart full of joy. I'm as dumbfounded as the rest of you but...I kinda love this movie! David Harbour pretty damn solid, I mean I'll admit he won me over quick being bitter as hell about the holiday and these shit ass kids (no I haven't seen Bad Santa so this is new to me), so that was great but you can see this devotion and care he has for his role he just so happens to crack skulls open like a nutcracker too. Glorious! Good ol' Luigi Mario, John Leguizamo what a hateful but great fun villain, he was that actionsploitation villain but with the right kind of performance and dialogue to make it interesting. This little girl.....if she was in danger I would go Doom Slayer on whoever stood in my way, Leah Brady is that perfect level of pwecious and rad in this role and bless her forever. Those are the main players but the supporting cast from parents to goons are also done well! I really hope this becomes a blood soaked Christmas cult classic, and I'm gonna lay this out here. If you think Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie, then here is your Christmas action movie no questions asked. I was a bit disappointed by the CG blood but that was remedied with fairly decent practical effects and many, many blood packs. This is a goddamn brutal movie, like it did elicit vocalizations of shock and disgust from me. Well directed as well, they go for some interesting angles and a long take action scene. It almost is nothing like I imagined it would be, it's better. Like I said I hope people see the effort to make this actually a very good movie, because I respect the living shit out of the writers and directors for handling this the way they did. Objectively it's like a 7/10 maybe but this is how nice of a Dude that I am, I'm giving it 4 stars, 8/10! There's your Christmas present, don't ever say I don't do nice things even in the face of this most annoying of seasons. And that good folk is the last new movie review of 2022, now to compile the list and start forming a top 10 of the year. But there's a few more things to scratch off the list, discuss, and appreciate. I'll see you behind the wall of sleep.
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