Super Mario Galaxy Movie

Well I'll be damned.

I liked it way better than the first! Pretty much every aspect has been improved and the lore has been expanded, the hallmarks of any good sequel are present here. So the story goes after Princess Rosalina has been captured our plumbing brothers and the princess in another castle set out to free her while Bowser reconnects with his son in dastardly deeds. That's the base story but trust me you get a lot of cool stuff along with it. I feel the animators are just showing off in this, if you thought the first film was beatific and colorful to the max throw in the cosmic aspect and it's peaked at a whole other level in my opinion. Performance wise from our original roster they all do great and I'm happy Luigi gets more to do, and I was quite invested in Bowser's storyline, and as for our new arrivals I knew Brie Larson was gonna rock it as Rosalina and Donald Glover was a unique choice for Yoshi but welcome just the same. The plot moves just as brisk as the first and never ever gets boring with maybe not as much easter eggs you can shake a stick at but some surprise reveals that more than make up for it. In fact one particular reveal nearly pushed me to scream in the theater, as they are my main choice in the Super Smash Bros. games. But I like all the nods to Super Mario Bros. 2, or should I really say Doki Doki Panic for those who are initiated and getting to see stuff I'm actually surprised wasn't in the first. It's a very fun and I'd easily say funnier movie as well, with an easy to grasp plot, damn good animation, and come what may if they decide to do a third they will have my attention. I give it 3 stars, 8/10, and I really gotta check the upcoming releases for this month and see what else might strike my fancy.

In Retrospect: The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Considering how well they handled tbis movie I guess I can look forward to the Galaxy Movie.

Hands up, I haven't seen this movie since opening day so all this time has done some good on the reappraisal front. Shit I'm thrilled they took their sweet ass time before releasing the Super Mario Galaxy Movie and not trying to rush anything! All the minor quibbles I had with the soundtrack selections, the worldbuilding, and the lack of Luigi has softened and I do still stand by it being a good if not even great movie. The part that struck me hardest on rewatch is the soundtrack, dear lord the plethora of level music beautifully crafted into an orchestral score is only rivaled by the amount of easter eggs prevalent. I mean when you have a video game series as acclaimed as Mario and a company like Nintendo with unrivaled rich history you'll get plenty of nods and shoutouts. Another aspect that made me appreciate this movie so much is despite the star studded cast you kinda forget they're voicing these characters, a lot of animated projects want you to pay attention to the fact it is the celebrity, like Robin Williams in Aladdin who pretty much was the bedrock for all celebrity voice acting since, rather than have the celebrity slip seamlessly into the part. I kinda forgot who voiced Peach until I had to look it up, Chris Pratt you do just roll with, even with Charlie Day and Jack Black who definitely are more recognizable voices never break the immersion. Good job director! It still looks outstanding I can tell you that much, despite my predilection for obsidian I do truly appreciate color in life, and it's rarely on better form than here. Of course it's a joy to see such fabled locales from the games be rendered in picture-esque beauty but in all aspects the animation truly shines. Kinda makes you wonder why they never did it this way earlier, in fact I'm still in the minority I feel when I say I would love more animated adaptations of video games on the big screen. We just need more animation fucking period to be brutally real with you here, I don't know what the stigma has been against this medium for decades at this point but not everything has to be live action. I swear. I had a good time watching it, I'll bump up the score to an 8/10, I'm endlessly interested to see what all will go down in the next one tomorrow so stay tuned!

They Will Kill You

Not the greatest title, but a fantastic movie!

I knew a smidge more about this movie than Forbidden Fruits mainly cause I just saw the trailer when I was at The Bride and it immediately had my attention. Zazie Beetz goes forth and wrecks shit in a building full of satanists, that is the movie advertised and that is the movie you get! It still has enough twists to keep it interesting but man, shit hits the fan fucking FAST in this movie! It moves at such a quick pace and it barely took anytime for me to be seeped in the style, humor, and batshit insanity laid out. It has minutiae of horror elements but it truly is a, what I like to call a fuck shit up movie. You know, your John Wick's, your Nobody's, movies almost entirely action where people get their shit kicked in with increasingly creative possibilities. Zazie girl I haven't seen you in a long time and I will never get over you in this movie! Not only do I fully believe her action hero status but you instantly identify with her emotions and reasoning, it's tightly written enough to where they don't need to exposit much and you just get it. The style is practically dripping, you get swish zooms, flashback vignettes, lots of unconventional camera work, a soundtrack that got me fired up, and high pressurized blood straight out of a goddamn anime. It's undoubtedly Zazie's movie but all the supporting characters from Patricia Arquette to Myha'la to Tom Felton, they know how to play it and play it well. It's out there man and yet I somehow was still calling story beats, sometimes long before some plot detail was revealed, which either means that this was tailor made for me or maybe just maybe I've seen too many movies. Yeah I'll go with that one. But overall, I loved it, I think it's badass, and you know what? Ohh! Ohhhhh, I'm gonna do it!! 4 stars, 10/10, a full hearted recommendation through and through!

Forbidden Fruits

Fuck me this movie infuriated me.

It's not even bad, far from it actually! But holy fuckaroli did half our main cast just piss me off, which in all reality means the performances were damn good. If someone can make you run a gambit of emotions with a performance including rage, that is a great performance! So the story goes a new girl who works at a mall is quickly inaugurated in a bitchy coven where over the course of several months it starts breaking down and ends in blood. Props for all the Texas love, but I'm still iffy on this film. Let's just get into the nitty gritty here folks, the cast. Major hardcore props to all the actresses who bring so much personality and even dramatics to the role! We have Lola Tung as new girl Pumpkin, and I was not expecting her arc going from a rather sweet and inexperienced at life girl into for lack of a better word the second worst monster of the film. Cause you think oh she's gonna challenge the hierarchy and be a positive force who eventually will have to fight the head of the coven but she degenerates into a blackmailing and sort of still complicit member so there is no catharsis found there. Then we have the bane of my existence Apple played to stunning perfection by Lili Reinhart. This...fucking...****. It has been ages since I have utterly despised a character more, a true masterclass in manipulation, fear mongering, bitchiness, and pure control freak behavior. It's truly a marvel to behold and once again no catharsis or justice found with her journey, which nearly made me torch the theater. But like I said, fantastic performance to even illicit such feelings so brava to you my dear! Then we move onto to Alexandra Shipp as Fig, who really is the first fracture in the coven wanting to branch out and do her own thing and her brief moments of relationships and interests were nice to see, and Alexandra was a joy to watch! Last but not at all least we have Victoria Pedretti as Cherry who at first seems like a total ditzy blonde but has the largest arc and really is the star of the dramatics due to her character's tragic past, just damn she really kinda swept me off my feet and easily was my favorite of the group! Well done and high praise to all these fine actors who really and truly carry the film in it's entirety on their backs. But yeahhhh, I was not thrilled with where this story went. It moves at a brisk pace and has decent production values with some good gore effects, pretty decent comedy, hell I was digging the shit out of the soundtrack, and a message I've never truly seen in cinema: Toxic femininity. But I'm so split down the middle with it! In terms of production it's like a 7.5/10, but in terms of enjoyment it's like a 3/10. So what the hell do I even give this? It's not a movie I'd really watch again, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It's not, it is a very well acted, well directed movie that just so happened to make me rage at a screen which I haven't done in a long while. It's certainly memorable! So ehh, I'll give it...2.5 stars, 6.5/10, with a caveat the size of the goddamn Grand Canyon.

Happy Anniver- Oh...

Maybe I should retire. I know I was busy and dog tired but what in the actual shit is this?? Never have I ever forgotten my own anniversary, I might as well divorce myself now. And on that bombshell...I'm just joshing you, I wouldn't end it like that. But yeah man, jeez 11 years now and while I'm still very much operating in the background it's good to still be going. I don't know if I'll do a standard week of reviews every month but it's not a horrible idea. I will say we got two new movies to review this week so that'll be fun but I'm just hoping for a healthy amount of new releases. I'd also like to just do what I do best, rant and ramble, maybe do another EVOTIC or ruminate on the state of now vs. then like I often do in real life. I didn't think I'd ever truly get this far, past a decade now but time, as Seal would say, keeps slipping into the future. Shoot it'll be the birthday month before I can even blink and I got a little something something that I hope I can lock the fuck in for cause this has been on my list for at minimum 8 years, I honestly can't believe I haven't done it yet. So if the stars align and life is kind we're gonna talk some Batman Beyond. But that is the future and we are right now, slightly late mind you but all we can do is take it one day at a time and try to make the most of it. It isn't always easy but I have faith in you, and like me you probably got some groovy things to look forward to in the not too distant future, so stick around. You may be surprised how it all turns out. I'll see you on the weekend and if we're lucky we'll have some far out cinema to talk about. Until next time.

Project Hail Mary

Sweet baby jeezus, this was a lot better than anticipated.

Granted I kinda forgot this movie was coming out, knew diddly squat about the book, and was expecting a decent film but I'll be damned if this isn't Top 10 material for the year. Centering on a science teacher who gets roped into a government operation in an attempt to stop a previously unknown lifeform from dimming the sun quickly makes second contact with another alien as a shockingly endearing and lovely friendship blooms. Bare bones plot, fantastic fucking movie. I can't believe how well all this is balanced cause it is a heavy plot and takes as much time for the drama as well as the humor and it is easily one of the quirkiest, sweetest, most fascinating movies I have ever seen in my life. It grips you right off the hook with a fair bit of mystery but relatively quickly stars feeding you backstory throughout the picture, giving you the necessary backstory and information, which is impressive. It never gets boring and is a very artsy film in terms of cinematography, I'll be talking straight out of my ass if I said I was never invested. Like this is the movie that I desperately needed, some truly positive even dare I say life affirming sci-fi without even a shred of saccharine or pulled punches emotionally. Goddamn movie nearly made me cry seeing Ryan Gosling talk to a rock creature, and a surprisingly emotional karaoke scene that I have not seen the likes of since Lost In Translation. I'm kinda speechless honestly how this movie not only submerges you in the emotion but keeps you trailing along every story beat with baited breath. Ryan Gosling I continue apologizing for not knowing your game, as he delivers a great maybe even award winning performance in my estimation. Fantastic stuff. But the movie wouldn't be complete without James Ortiz as our resident alien affectionately named Rocky who effortlessly stole my heart and was really the part of the movie that grabbed my attention to even want to go see it. They spend a good bit of time hurdling the language gap but with sharp writing and good humor it never feels like a slog, and the bonding time is essential. The movie never forgets about the crisis but you almost kinda wish it did just so you could see these two hang out even more. Hell yeah I wanna see humans make galactic friends, and it's so strong I...almost kinda see them as a couple! Not anything as base as mates, but something far deeper and more caring. I'm still baffled how they pulled that off but I sure as shit ain't mad! I just wasn't prepared for how damn good this movie really was, and I know that probably influences expectations so don't take my word for it and just go see it for yourself. I love the relationship dynamics, I love the visuals, the score from the drums to the choir is perfect for the film, the creativity of the camera work is right up my alley, and it practically injects 50ccs of dopamine straight into my bloodstream. Especially the ending, God almighty that is an ending I have wanted to see done in a sci-fi movie for decades. I'll be stunned if there's a more feel-good movie of the year after this, I really will. I have no reservations when I say 4 stars across the board, 9/10, big thumbs up from me! It's really moments like these that have kept me going for almost 11 years come next week, I love when I get movies that look interesting and just blind side me with how great they are, but hey that's just my opinion. You gotta go see it for your own. But you may be surprised how much you dig it, and I'll see you next week come what may.

The Bride

Okay first new movie of the year finally.

I'm a bit lost for words I won't lie. Admittedly, hands up, I knew exactly two things about this movie: It had Christian Bale in it and was some kind of Bride Of Frankenstein movie. Now I will also admit that's all it really took to get my ass in a theater seat but what I got was such a bizarre movie that I don't think I can call it objectively good and yet I respect it and rather like it. This review will utterly fail to sum up this movie and do it justice because it's all over the place. You'd think it would be this reanimation love story but it goes waaaay beyond that! When the movie starts, begins, with the body of a woman possessed by the spirit of Mary Wollstonecraft Shirley you kind of can already guess this is going to be out there! And I'll say it right here right now, I wasn't digging it at first and it took me until the dance club scene for it to kind of start clicking for me and even then it had moments where it was this off putting strange movie, but I simultaneously appreciate and even respect the artistry of it. The movie has themes of identity, feminism, acceptance, and challenging the world around you and those themes do indeed work. But it also kind of goes on tangents that don't amount to all that much in the main story that is told. Oh I certainly will not blame Maggie for this in her directorial debut, this script needed a smidge of ironing but her direction is decent and needless to say bold given the material. You have to walk in with an extraordinarily open mind to not walk away hating it, I certainly don't cause the movie has a lot I do genuinely like and even it's more wacked out moments has appeal. Could I really hate a Frankenstein movie that almost turns into this Bonnie & Clyde type story with dance sequences and actually decent romance? Helllllll naw! Performance wise Jessie Buckley has to juggle a lot and has to stand on an uneven script yet she does very well, affecting a split personality with a penchant for independence that is likeable and you can sympathize with. Christian Bale also is very strong with one of the best physical interpretations of this character in the 21st century, it really is a stellar design in my opinion mixing movie monster with inspiration from The Shadow. The personality is what really struck me most, he's well spoken, cares deeply about the Bride and supports her independence, has a liking for cinema, and has no problems curb stomping a rapist. Good solid man right there, even if he does still tell white lies. The romance is more of a slow burn between them with the Bride after being reinvigorated wanting really nothing to do with Frank which he does accept even if he wants her super bad to be his wife, and after he stops her from being assaulted they slowly grow closer to the point where they are ready to love each other to the end of time. Pretty damn happy ending if you ask me and I'm so conflicted on final scores here. The production for the most part is very good, the story has some kinks and shortcomings but I don't hate it, it's just this mixed bag of quality to where I'm stumped. If I really had to give it something I'll give it 2.5 stars, 7/10, and hopefully this is just the beginning of more new movies to hit the schedule. I'll see you sooner rather than later.