Jurassic Park: The Lost World

Not to be confused with The Lost World from 1925, based off the novel The Lost World by Arthur Conan Doyle which is not to be confused with The Lost World by Michael Crichton from which this film is based on. The Lost World.

All jokes aside, this movie is interesting. Set 4 years after the first movie, Hammond contacts Ian Malcolm to help in the protection of the true island where they created the dinosaurs from greedy corporate officials who wish to exploit the animals and bring them all to San Diego. Makes sense to me, because the first Park was absolutely foolproof! Yeah, the plot is as weak as an after school special or a Captain Planet episode, yet I still think it's decent. Come on, it's a sequel to Jurassic Park. What quality do you think you are getting? Granted Steven is back in the director's chair, and nothing is bad about the inner workings of the movie, the special effects are still really good, cast is decent with a lot more room for Jeff Goldblum to bring some good comedy in the film, the action is really good especially when the T-Rex tramples through San Diego which is no doubt the highlight of the film. But plot is lacking and not as tight as the first, but I don't think the film is bad. This is the movie for the dinosaur action lover. It takes...maybe 5 minutes before you see a dinosaur in full glory, and there is lots more to be had. You can tell it's a very different breed from the first movie, but if you don't expect a better movie than Jurassic Park (cause let's face it Jurassic Park is the best) and are game to see lots of dino action, you're gonna enjoy this movie! There's not much to it, but it's better than the next one. You know what was really odd? This movie got a 2 VHS tape release, so the second tape was behind the scenes stuff, it wasn't a Titanic deal where the movie was split in half. Hell that was the exception in the late 90s, I think those and Cecil B. Demille's The Ten Commandments which was one of my favorite movies as a kid, were the only movies I knew of where they came with two tapes. Yeah that was how hardcore I was, I watched The Ten Commandments multiple times all the way through when I was like 4 or 5. Do you know long that movie is? Like 4 hours! I was made for movies boy. Ranting aside, decent movie, worth your time if you love dino action, pray for me tomorrow.

Suburbicon

This was a very different movie.

Now I'm gonna be honest, I liked the movie. I think George Clooney did a very good job directing and handling a Cohen brothers script, which basically concerns just your average suburban family being pushed too far and the ensuing chaos and death that follows. I gotta admit, that ending was great! I don't know, it was just such an odd little movie that had some genuine tension in some scenes, had a very good and very true social satirical viewpoint. All the actors did good work, with Matt Damon just being an average guy trying to cope with the terrible tragedy (get used to hearing that a lot in this movie) and how he tries to handle it all, Julianne Moore who has been cloned in this movie, yes you get not one but two Julianne Moores and once you try to get used to that...well let's move on. Next point, white people were assholes back then in 1959 or whenever this takes place, like Jesus do you people have anything better to do with your life than ostricize a black family? The most genuinely best and all around nice character, is a kid and he does great work for the dark and disturbing subject matter. The movie has a point but it sure does serve it in a very WTF way. And it finally happened, after 22 years, I have finally went to a movie theater and watched a movie alone. There was not a soul in there besides me. And I had a blast with it. I think that's why I enjoyed this movie, cause I could just say out loud "Dude....WTF?" when stuff started going to hell in a handbasket. Do I recommend the movie? Uh....yeah. Probably best just as a rental unless you have to see this movie soon. It certainly got reactions from me, so take from that what you will.

And yes, I did not forget about Murder On The Orient Express, we'll get to that next week. Best part is I have no idea how it ends so the mystery factor should be high for me! So I'm very excited to see that and can't wait to talk about it, so until then don't be a jerk to your neighbors but suspect all you like.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Well this was a good movie to end the day with.

Now I have to make myself very clear. I do not hate this movie. Let me repeat that again, I do NOT hate this movie. But.....it's not as great as the first one. The first Kingsman movie came out of left field and floored me with how different but still awesome it's take on the spy genre was. Maybe I had high expectations for this movie but it never made me say, "Wow, this is a pretty good friggin' movie!". So our story picks up a few years after the first, Eggsy is a top agent at Kingsman, he's in a relationship with that chick he banged in the ass at the end of the last movie, and all seems well. Enter Julianne Moore, who I swear to God is the reason you should see this movie! I mean she's nuttier than a PayDay bar, and my God is it beautiful. She plays this guano crazy buisnesswoman who has grossed over $300 billion dollars on drug trade alone. She has this whole crazy plan, with poisoning drug users and then asking for all drug use be legalized in exchange for a cure. Make sense? Not to me. I kinda could roll with the whole brainwave scrambling thing in the last movie and I liked it. The only flipping reason Kingsman is brought into this is because one of her employers has a grudge against them, and Eggsy's girlfriend gets the virus. That's it. Now you could argue, it is saving the world since so many people do drugs, but honestly I don't feel the world is at stake. At all. Kinda diminishes the whole scale and drive of the movie. Now the acting across the board is still great, the action while lessened is still cool, the comedy is there but I just didn't laugh as much the first go around, and has the strangest....I can't evenncall it a cameo because it happens waaaay to often, and even results in a total deus ex machina, and I'm just confused by it. Kingsman The Golden Circle is an okay sequel to a great film. Buy the first, rent the second, or just watch the two trailers to this movie. Trust me, they are excellent! Kinda ended on a downer, but hey next week we got more movies to start as a prologue to a mish mash of horror, sci-fi, and the most wonderful time of the year.

Hannibal

Would you hate me if I said I kinda, sorta like this movie? This a very divisive movie so I get where both parties are coming from.

Hannibal is the last chronological film of Anthony Hopkins' outstanding run as our favorite cannibalistic psychiatrist. How does this movie hold up? Eh, it's not bad. It's a decent movie, it doesn't end very well, but I don't hate this movie. You can tell Anthony Hopkins is having fun, Julianne Moore isn't horrible as Clarice she does fine work, Gary Oldman is always a damn fine actor and he does really well as the villain here. Oh yeah and Barney is the friggin' man! I love Barney in all these movies, he is awesome. Frankie Faison, my God man. Rock on. So what is the story in this possible trainwreck for you of a movie? Hannibal is still on the run, Clarice has been disowned from the F.B.I., and Mason Verger is on a revenge hunt for Hannibal. Clarice figures if she can catch Hannibal first, her career as an agent will be saved. One of the things I enjoyed was seeing exstensive location shooting in Florence, it is a beautiful city and Ridley Scott really got a good feeling of the city. Oh yes, Ridley Scott directed this movie. Strange that. But it works well, he's a competent director in this so no harm done there. The way the story is told is a bit of a mess, it's not completely unfollowable, but you got to pay attention. It's a busy movie, so take note of several of the events in the movie. The ending is...difficult to explain. It's not a horrible piece of garbage, but it isn't all that great either. Some may call it a mixed bag. Actually the more I think about it, the less I like this movie. It's just adequate. Everything is passable, not good or bad, just...eh, okay. I'd take this movie with a severe grain of salt, it is without a doubt the weakest of the Hannibal Lecter movies. Oh, and for those of you wondering why Hannibal Rising isn't on here.....hahahahahaha! That movie is stupid and doesn't exist, and anyone who likes it is stupid. I know it's just my opinion but, I'm right.

Well, one week down. Tune in next week for some more classic horror movies.